Dating at Midlife/ChBBopnJox


Bas, this reminds me of ccmaihel reactions that go from starting materials to finished products through a red convertible that chemists call it the transition state. Failure to pass this transition state brings the reactants back.Using this metaphor again, few ccmaihel reactions have two transition states (two red convertibles . I guess some projects behave similarly (how about calling them the two humps projects?)Finally, some transition states lead to more than product (side reactions). L guess some projects give more than one result because of lack of focusFinally, catalysts lower the transition states and reactions proceed faster. Who are the project catalysts in your view?

IN living systems some projects give more than one result because of complexity and fertility.
Also, in livings systems there is always context and context is catalyst.
Relevant context in love relationships, acting as catalyst: extended family, friends, sometimes children.
Such catalysts can speed or inhibit processes.
In living systems, there are several transition states, or humps.
thank you for this very interesting and abstract question

Dating at Midlife

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Philip Belove, Ed.D.


Hi. I`m Philip Belove (that is my name, really). I`m 71 and I`ve been a psychologist all my midlife, the past 35 years. My specialty has been counseling and coaching other midlife adults.  I think we all figure things out as we go along, but even more so at midlife. Being between 40-ish and 60-ish and single is like being a stranger in a strange land. I`ve learned which questions help people find their own way. I created this category, I publish a blog at and I write articles for various web sites. My commitment is to help people 1) understand and improve how they deal with others, 2) understand the forces that rule the relationships they are in, and 3) make the decisions which will shape, or create, or end those relationships  so they achieve the goal of midlife development  to finally live with personal satisfaction. I`ve been divorced twice myself. I`m in a satisfying relationship with a fine person. I`m very interested in learning about your challenges and in offering what I can.


Professionally: Licensed Psychologist. Marriage and Family Therapist. Coach.Author. University Lecturer. Personally: I'm 71. I've probably made all the big mistakes, er, learned the big lessons.I've forgiven myself and made many apologies and I've made it into a good, stable, sweet relationship. I now have a perspective on midlife.

Please check out my book, Rabbis in Love, at Also my blog at The Rabbi book was done as part of a research project. My collaborator, Marilyn Bronstein, and I wanted to interview couples with very successful marriage and also we wanted to talk to people who cared as much about their spirituality as love. Maybe being able to love and be spiritual were one and same, we thought. So we found a rabbi couple and the interview was so astounding that we interviewed nine more rabbi couples. One dropped. They'd revealed too much. It's a fascinating book and, Jewish or not, religious or not, these couples do a lot of things right and there is a lot to learn from them.

Masters in Counseling Psychology, Alfred Adler Institute Doctorate in Consulting Psychology, focus on family therapy, University of Massachusetts at Amherst

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