Dating at Midlife/Mature Mate Love?


I am 58 yrs old.  I am in a relationship with a 51 yr old man.  We have been dating for a year and a half.  We fool around but do not have intercourse as it goes against my beliefs.  He is fine with that.  He treats me like a queen and there is no doubt that he is in love with me.  I love him too but possibly not enough.  I am embarrassed at his intellectual level and lack of education.  It worries me to have him around my friends and co-workers.  He really is the sweetest man but he does say the weirdest things out of nowhere and sometimes just does not seem to be able to follow a intense conversation.  How important should that part of my relationship be if all else is good?  I have actually thought of marrying him for all the other stuff but have held back because I am afraid it will eventually turn me off completely.

Hi Sandra,

Sometimes the package of the man who treats us the best and cherishes us the most isn't quite what we were expecting. When singles are in their 50s and older, sometimes your expectation is still based on what you thought you wanted in a life partner when you were in your 20s and 30s.  But now that you are a MidLife Single, you're finding the personal behaviors and character of your mature mate is more important to you than when you were younger.

Ask yourself a few questions to help guide yourself and get more clear about your relationship.

Does he treat you like a gem?
Is he loving, kind, considerate, and generous with you?
Does he have any vice lifestyle habits which you cannot abide to live with?
Do you respect his thinking and values?
Is he there for you emotionally?
If you had to have a surgery, would be taking you to doctor's appointments, driving you to the hospital, waiting for you in the surgical waiting room, and the first to visit you in the ICU post-op?

His lack of education, is he a man who reads and engages stimulating his mind in some way and aiming to continue to learn and involve himself in personal development and personal advancement?

Sometimes a man is more of an interactive learner than an academic learner.  So, perhaps his college and university education is not in place.  But he continues his personal life education by reading and learning.  Does he ever go to any personal development seminars or workshops?

Now if your own lifestyle is you a University Physics Professor daily engaged in intense conversations, you might desire a different partner.

However, the more we age, the greater the importance of how our love mate treats us and has thoughtful and considerate attributes is to us now.

I hope that helps you best to determine your own best answer inside your heart.... and mind.  

Dating at Midlife

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April Braswell - Dating Expert


Can certainly address the romantic questions from Boomers looking to date again after divorce or the death of their spouse. Address how dating and courtship principles remain the same, however many of the tactics are different now. How to use social media and online dating sites well which reflect your age and style, not that of your grandchildren.


As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. I'm an internationally recognized Dating and Relationship expert, frequently on Radio and serve as "In Touch Weekly"'s go to relationship expert for questions regarding celebrity couple relationships. Additionally recognized for specifically serving the different romantic needs of the Baby Boomer generation, having contributed to such media as Gateway Media, Woman's World, and The Boston Globe.

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition.

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