Dating at Midlife/Reaction unexpected



I recently asked a mutual friend at work to ask this guy if he was single and to casually mention that I wanted to know about him. My friend asked and the guy said he was dating someone.
Anyway, this guy has always been somewhat quiet and perhaps shy around me (kind of like he didn't notice me) so I was really worried about seeing him again at work. Well I ran into him for the first time (about a month and a half after I'd found out he wasn't single) and I was in a hurry and didn't see him. As I was walking by, he said "Hey, how are you"? so even though I was completely caught off guard, I stopped and talked with him for a minute. He was really chatty and nice to me and I was really surprised because he's never been that friendly with me before. I'm just confused as to how to take his reaction to seeing me. I'm definitely not going to pursue him but is it possible that he wants to keep his options open with me or that maybe he's second guessing things? Or should I just take it as him being friendly and trying to make me feel comfortable.


Hi Kristina,

Isn't funny how we can be so preoccupied with our daily activities that we can literally walk right by someone with whom we are acquainted and not even see them?

Because most men even into their 50s are hormonally wired and driven to pursue women they are attracted to, even the shy ones, that if you're his type then, he'll make a more direct overture to you.  For example, he could ask you for your cell phone number.  Or he might have at that moment invited you for a casual coffee together "just because" you two had bumped into each other by happenstance.

I think your bright and cheerful take on the situation of "Or should I just take it as him being friendly and trying to make me feel comfortable," sounds right on target. How gracious of him, indeed!

Now get out there and practice flirting daily so the men who are attracted to your unique look and essence pursue you!

Hope this helps empower and encourage you!  

Dating at Midlife

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April Braswell - Dating Expert


Can certainly address the romantic questions from Boomers looking to date again after divorce or the death of their spouse. Address how dating and courtship principles remain the same, however many of the tactics are different now. How to use social media and online dating sites well which reflect your age and style, not that of your grandchildren.


As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition. I'm an internationally recognized Dating and Relationship expert, frequently on Radio and serve as "In Touch Weekly"'s go to relationship expert for questions regarding celebrity couple relationships. Additionally recognized for specifically serving the different romantic needs of the Baby Boomer generation, having contributed to such media as Gateway Media, Woman's World, and The Boston Globe.

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd edition.

Smith College, BA Certifications in Influence and Persuasion Mind Body Dynamics Body Language Mastery

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