Dating at Midlife/Stupid women at the job


uncle duke wrote at 2014-03-11 14:26:26
Sounds like the 20 year old is being dumped down the toilet everyday by her husband. More than likely it's at the same time everyday.  At her age she doesn't realize that yet but she'll catch on in another 5-6 years. Sorry, sad but true. She may also be bipolar- be careful. I think the good thing is that she {20 year old} is not scared of you. People who are scared can do dangerous stuff sometimes. It sounds like you have opened up to the 20 year old a little bit but if it were me I would turn cold until she comes around to terms that make you feel comfortable. When it's food eating time you could possibly just settle for one piece of chicken/pizza every once in a while. That'll throw her/them for a loop for a bit not being able to figure what you're going to do. If I had a co-worker buttin' into my cubicle just to bother me I would hit the fishing hole every chance I get. That's right, go fishing. There's an old saying I just remembered-  "If you can better yourself in anyway then by all means do it" Here's another that works well- "If you can't get into trouble for it, don't worry about it".  

Dating at Midlife

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Philip Belove, Ed.D.


Hi. I`m Philip Belove (that is my name, really). I`m 71 and I`ve been a psychologist all my midlife, the past 35 years. My specialty has been counseling and coaching other midlife adults.  I think we all figure things out as we go along, but even more so at midlife. Being between 40-ish and 60-ish and single is like being a stranger in a strange land. I`ve learned which questions help people find their own way. I created this category, I publish a blog at and I write articles for various web sites. My commitment is to help people 1) understand and improve how they deal with others, 2) understand the forces that rule the relationships they are in, and 3) make the decisions which will shape, or create, or end those relationships  so they achieve the goal of midlife development  to finally live with personal satisfaction. I`ve been divorced twice myself. I`m in a satisfying relationship with a fine person. I`m very interested in learning about your challenges and in offering what I can.


Professionally: Licensed Psychologist. Marriage and Family Therapist. Coach.Author. University Lecturer. Personally: I'm 71. I've probably made all the big mistakes, er, learned the big lessons.I've forgiven myself and made many apologies and I've made it into a good, stable, sweet relationship. I now have a perspective on midlife.

Please check out my book, Rabbis in Love, at Also my blog at The Rabbi book was done as part of a research project. My collaborator, Marilyn Bronstein, and I wanted to interview couples with very successful marriage and also we wanted to talk to people who cared as much about their spirituality as love. Maybe being able to love and be spiritual were one and same, we thought. So we found a rabbi couple and the interview was so astounding that we interviewed nine more rabbi couples. One dropped. They'd revealed too much. It's a fascinating book and, Jewish or not, religious or not, these couples do a lot of things right and there is a lot to learn from them.

Masters in Counseling Psychology, Alfred Adler Institute Doctorate in Consulting Psychology, focus on family therapy, University of Massachusetts at Amherst

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