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Dating at Midlife/Future of Marriage in United States??..


Every single day when I check the news and tabloids, more and more and more couples are getting divorced. Regardless of whether they had kids or not. If they were even married in the first place.

As you say, marriage is one of the formats of relationships. But even long term serious relationships where people live together without marriage for 20-30 years, those are breaking up daily too regardless of whether they have kids or not.

We live in a world of social networks, smartphones, text messaging, instant messaging, video chat software, dating sites, sex/affair sites like Ashley Madison, internet pornography/pictures/movies available all over your phone/computer, strip clubs, porn stars and strippers coming to your house for dances, open relationships, open marriages, workplace/school romances/flirting, casual sex, frequent business trips to other destinations, prostitutes, escorts, bisexuality, threesomes, orgies, BDSM, wild sex, and even if your neighbors/friends/family/colleagues see cheating happening, no one ever blabs to no one else like in the old days, because it's really no one's business.

This makes it super duper easy to cheat nowadays and leads to a lot of marriage breakdowns.

On the other hand, many divorces are also caused by financial problems. The housing market crashes every few years, and many people are graduating with hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan debt that they have to pay back. Having a child is also hundreds of thousands of dollars. This leads to people divorcing, or hesitant to marry at all or have children/adopt at all in the first place.

Less and less people attend church, also many older adults marriages are breaking down at 60, 70, 80 years old, so there are less and less elders and priests demanding the youth marry as was the case in the past. Societal stigma of being divorced or never married or being a single mom/dad is obliterated in the United States now.

With the boom of dating sites, people are going on dates and having sex with different people every night and never calling them again, that they would never have rejected had it been real life or if they didn't have as many options.

Drinks, drugs, smoking, this is all open everywhere, and young teens are experimenting with this stuff, having casual sex, and pregnancies and abortions at young ages.

All of these factors lead to this kind of stuff.

This isn't just men rejecting marriage or sleeping around. I would say it's an equal amount of women being like this too, or at least very close in percentage.

This trend was mainly in United States, England, Australia, and Europe...but has now slowly started spilling over to Asian/Middle Eastern/African strict religious cultures as well (most people there are still married because being single is generally unheard of in those cultures, but the divorce rate there has spiked dramatically and many are on their 2nd marriage).

Are most people cynical about true love these days?

The celebrity divorce rate is high...but even for regular normal daily people it seems sky high too.

What do you see as the future for marriage, living together, divorces, and relationships? Even from 5 years ago in 2010, the year 2015 is dramatically different and the dating "rules" don't even work any more.

Yes most people still get married daily...even eternal bachelor George Clooney did...but it is much different now. At the very least, no one is a virgin on their wedding night.

What do you predict as a future outcome? Do you feel marriage will become obsolete one day? Do you feel society structure will collapse 50 years from now, if no one gets married?

What do you see life and the dating scene (in terms of marriage, commitments etc) being different in 5 years, 10 years, 15, 20, 25, 30, and 50 years from now? How are our grandchildren's lives going to be different than ours? What about the rest of the world outside Western cultures?

I'm interested in hearing your honest thoughts.


Hi Heather and thank you for posting such a thought provoking question. Not being clairvoyant I can only answer in my limited foresight. I agree with everything you state as the world is today, not to mention, teen transgender dysphoria. With all that's going on, I believe people have to connect. The more isolated people become by computers, phones and the next hot new thing, without personal contact, humanity will fail. I believe in support, love and caring no matter who you are or who you are not. Societal hypocriticism, narcissism, misogny, religion, bias and everything else creates the failure of relations. Greed and Envy are innate in every person and the choice to do better are there as well. The only thing I can hope for is to find the good in just one and hold on to that. People can surround themselves by supportive and loving, even if it's just one. Just that one can make a difference in someone's life. I'm not a believer in a monagomous long term anything, only because I see the inability of man to be monogamous. There's a deep flaw in believing that someone must walk a straight line or be "defined". It's my hope that future generations will connect with someone and give themselves the strength, knowledge and the ability to move freely in or out of relationships without judgement. Every person needs to feel strong enough and smart enough to be responsible for their consequences. I hope for community farms where there is abundance for all. We share globally and noone needs an apple because everyone has an apple. I hope there are no religions that seek to destroy because people believe differently. I hope the monetary system fails and barter and service become the world system. I told you what I hope, now I'll tell you what I think. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the elite of countries, the powers to be, the Royalty mentality, the let them eat cake and only the strong survive are the reasons we will fail to exist. Only the highest of office lives palacially while others starve under their nose. Is it any wonder that people are confused? My prognosis is poor until the most brilliant, the most compassionate come forward and create a different system. I don't know whether there is any living thing that can create this world however I hope. I hope for all and thank you again for your caring and considering these important questions.  

Dating at Midlife

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Lauren Stevens


I can answer all questions pertaining to dating, dating at 50+, online dating, health and sexual issues regarding relationships.


I have been a life coach and all expert coach for over 15 years.

I have founded and facilitated Life After Divorce a coaching program that promotes and enables life changing events. I also facilitated Transitions a support group for the traumatic experience of people going through divorce and the newly divorced.

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