Dating at Midlife/Dating and age


Hi Lauren, I am newly single, never married but been in several relationships. I am 49 years young.

I have begun dating again and have been literally approached by a couple of women- one hinted we should go out and the other asked me out. I know these women are around 30 years old. I have resisted going out with them as I think they are way too young and I am too old for them.

Friends say I look youthful for my age (everyone likes to think that of course) and don't understand why I would even hestitate.

I want to act my age and date with dignity and not become a creepy middle aged man pursuing woman 20 years younger yet want to be as open as possible about welcoming women into my life without some artificial filter that only narrows my opportunities.

Would you please have some insights and perspectives you could share with me?

Thanks so much.


Hi David, there are lots of thought on this and some of it not very nice. One school of thought is a younger woman wants experience, stability and cash. The older man is looking for eye candy, control and ego builder. Is it true? Maybe, but maybe not. I'm not a gender nor age bias coach. I believe the right person can be anyone. I want you to consider one thing....would you date a woman 15 years older than you? And why or why not? If you have a good sense about who you are, than I think it really doesn't matter. You may feel the good old boy winks at you or the disapproving head nods. You can truly only do what you feel is right for you, even if others disagree. The only thing I can tell you is this, stand in alignment. Being a hypocrite is not standing in alignment.That means do what you say. Don't be dazzled by youth and beauty, it fades. However there is kindness, caring and love in youth and older women. Just choose wisely.
By your question I believe you are a more mature man than most and I applaud you for taking a step back and asking the question. Kudos to you!
Best of luck.  

Dating at Midlife

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Lauren Stevens


I can answer all questions pertaining to dating, dating at 50+, online dating, health and sexual issues regarding relationships.


I have been a life coach and all expert coach for over 15 years.

I have founded and facilitated Life After Divorce a coaching program that promotes and enables life changing events. I also facilitated Transitions a support group for the traumatic experience of people going through divorce and the newly divorced.

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