Dating at Midlife/amiga...

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QUESTION: dear friend,
i ama 53 married man who is bored with his wife. 25  years together...you know...
trough facebook i date girl but , after meeting the first time ...they do not want to meet me again...I sent 40 msm to then but only I receive 2 o 3 msm from them...
They do not like the fact I am married...?
Am I too old? 53..
Am I too fat....? 123 kg...
I am too ugly......why....why...I keep on thinking why...........
several years ago I had relationship with sexual intercourses with 3 bad girls and I suffered from clinical depresssion 4 times: plenty of suffering, plenty of lost money with psychiatrists and medicines...
the fact is why , after the first meeting they do not want to meet me again....
I must admit that i am obssesive sending msm and that is not good.....girls do not want a miserable man sending 80 msm a day...i know that..
the kit is why?
why they do not answer my messages...
thank you from Caracas

ANSWER: My question to you is, why hasn't your psychiatrists and therapists helped? If you're bored of your wife and marriage, how have you tried to make it better? It sounds like you focus a good deal on you. Your suffering, your lost money, your doctors and medicines. Your wife has lost too. She lost the same money and she lost a husband that loved her and cared about her. My advice to you is spend your money on trying to make things work with the woman that does love you. She has stayed with you for 25 years. Try to focus on why you fell in love with your wife 25 years ago. It's very difficult to go out at 53 and try to forge new relationships and the problems you have with your wife will resurface with someone knew because you haven't figured out why you're bored. You haven't figured out why you're miserable. Why not try couples therapy and stop trying to re invent something when you already have it. Best wishes

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I want to keep her but stay with diferent girls....on the car kissing her.....the fact is that the ones that had sex with me inmediatelly gave me troubles...my wife does not want to divroces of me because she cames from a so miserable familly, extremelly ignorant and poor....she would prefer to stay with me even the fact that now we do not have sex...we have two kids...23 males and 16 female...
staying with diferent girls makes me feel so good...I hate prostitutes....I stayed with more than 300 diferent prostitutes all aroun my life....their treat is so cruel.......
the kit is why they didi not answer my msm.....
thanks again, your answer was so professional...

ANSWER: I don't know why they do not respond to your messages however I can tell you what I think . They know you're married and what can you offer them long term? They are looking for their own future and husband. Are you looking for a long term affair? If you are, are you prepared financially to date them and give them the things they want in life? If so you have to lavish women with love and material things. Ugly, fat men can and do have beautiful girlfriends, however they will buy them everything, from jewelry to clothing, cars and even apartments . If you tell them up front that you have money and want a long term affair tell them what you can do for them and I guarantee you will find a woman who wants to be taken care of.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: dear friend,
a girl telling me that I have to buy things for her in orden to be my partner is so cruel to me. I think they shuld love me even the fact that were too poor, Cars, money, jelwry, thats not love. I like her interested on me due to my personality, my body...not for money if so I would better look for good looking prostitutes...
to be honest my problem is that I azm acomplexed (acomplejado in spanish) due to the fact that I am, 1 , 93 m. tall....tahts so a trgedy in my life. I have never danced in the whole of my life....i always tought that nobody would like to dance with so a monster.....her in venezuela you are extremelly tall being being this height....nobofy will like a man that tall....that destroyed my life........I have to get married with an extremelly poor girl, who was rapped at 8. I fell in love with her but not the opossite.
I do not feel atractteed by her.....
Dou you really think thats the reason why this girls are not interested on my anymore???? girls asking me for things are prostitutes......

Answer
You are using excuses for not having true love in your life, but you are not living an authentic life. If your wife can love you then another woman can too. It's not what you look like on the outside it's the person you are on the inside. You do not like yourself, so how do you expect someone else to? Your therapist did not do the right job for you. Why are you so self loathing? When you can love, accept and improve your attitude about yourself, other people/women will accept you too. Do you have support groups in your church or libraries? Do you have interests such as bicycling, photography, friendship? Can you develop a group and meet in your library for people that would like to get together to discuss personal issues and how they cope? Maybe you can help yourself and help other people who feel the way you do. You can advertise your new support group in your churches and food markets. You need to stop focusing on what is wrong with you and start doing things that will make you feel better about yourself and maybe help others along the way. Do you think you can do this?

Dating at Midlife

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Lauren Stevens

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I can answer all questions pertaining to dating, dating at 50+, online dating, health and sexual issues regarding relationships.

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I have been a life coach and all expert coach for over 15 years.

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I have founded and facilitated Life After Divorce a coaching program that promotes and enables life changing events. I also facilitated Transitions a support group for the traumatic experience of people going through divorce and the newly divorced.

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