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Dating at Midlife/Questions Answered by Expert Valerie
| Subject | Date Asked |
| dating in the workplace | 8/11/2009 |
| Q: So I just started a new job as a host at an upscale restaurant, I am not planning on staying in this ... A: You sound like a very intelligent young woman who has her act together! You are getting to an age ... | |
| Dating after long term marriage | 8/10/2009 |
| Q: I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful man on a dating site after my separation from my husband ... A: It sounds like 33 years of marriage is a "magic" number. I too was married for 33 years when my Ex ... | |
| Confusing relationship | 7/19/2009 |
| Q: I am 50 and have been in a relationship with a man, 56, for 1 1/2 years. We are together almost all ... A: Your life sounds a little like mine about 6 years ago. I was married for 33 years with 3 grown ... | |
| Dumped | 6/23/2009 |
| Q: I am 59, have been widowed since 2003. I have been dating a 67 year old guy who I have known for ... A: Sandra, This is a tough one! There has got to be more to this than what you have wrote. Knowing ... | |
| Boy friend dresses in female clothes | 6/22/2009 |
| Q: I have been a sales clerk in a Dress barn store for a number of years now and you would be suprised ... A: I admire you so much for dating a cross dresser. Unlike a gay person who has an extra chromosome ... | |
| marriage | 5/27/2009 |
| Q: My boyfriend Michael and I are 60 and both divorced. We have been together for 3 years. I moved in ... A: Jeanne, I can see very clearly your dilemma! I am hoping that your relationship is strong enough ... | |
| follow-up | 5/23/2009 |
| Q: Valerie - This is just a quick follow up to my recent question about the memorabilia. I like ... A: Sue, If I were you I would leave the stuff under the futon for now. Check on it in 30 days and see ... | |
| boyfriend's memorabilia from ex | 5/22/2009 |
| Q: I moved in with my boyfriend, Jim, after knowing each other for 2 and a half years and going through ... A: Sue, I totally understand how you feel. I went through a very similar situation with my new ... | |
| help-is he going to come around/ | 5/12/2009 |
| Q: I've been falling in love with this man who is a friend over the course of 7 mos. He's 52 and I'm ... A: Jane, I don't understand how you could be "falling in Love" with this guy if there is no stable ... | |
| Adult Daughter Ruining Us | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: Have been in a loving relationship for almost two years. My BF would like to consider moving in ... A: Eva, You have every right to be concerned over your relationship. I'm sorry to say, but your BF ... | |
| don't know what to do... | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: I am a 50 yo woman, divorced six years, no kids. I've been dating a little off and on. A few months ... A: Dedee, I am hoping by the time you get my reply that this great guy has contacted you! If the ... | |
| Dating best friends ex-husband | 1/27/2009 |
| Q: My best friend separated from her husband about 2 years ago and are finalizing their divorce ... A: Morgan, This is quite an unfortunate situation you put yourself into! First, since your girlfriend ... | |
| annoyed | 1/25/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 27 year old woman and I don't have a boyfriend. I have not had too much experience with men ... A: Anna, If you are 27 and still living at home - then shame on you! Leave home, establish your own ... | |
| question | 1/21/2009 |
| Q: There was this guy I was interested in and he likes me back, I know he likes me because he told all ... A: Ana, Look in a mirror and ask yourself, "Why would I want a guy who plays around, treats women like ... | |
| older generation | 1/5/2009 |
| Q: I'm a 27 year old woman and I'm currently in medical school pursuing my M.D. I will be taking the ... A: R.C. Your Mom is like any other mom. She is concerned about your future. She doesn't want you to ... | |
| Is he losing interest or am I thinking too much? | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I are both 19. We have been together for 2 months and have been on and off for ... A: Lauren, Although my expertise is giving advice to older women (45 and over) about dating tips, I ... | |
| catty bitches | 12/31/2008 |
| Q: This isn't a dating question. But I need some advice. I work in an office with some catty ass ... A: I am so sorry to hear about your office dilemma. It must be tough going to work each day and having ... | |
| dating much younger man | 10/30/2008 |
| Q: I too am like some of the other women. I have always attracted the much younger men...from 5-15 ... A: Kathy, Apparently you must be a mature, intelligent, attractive woman. The only experience I have ... | |
| Will I ever get it right? | 10/26/2008 |
| Q: I have been divorce for eight years now. I was married for sixteen years and it was a very painful ... A: Katie, I sympathize with you completely! It is hard enough going through a divorce without ... | |
| Safe sex/std/condom | 10/18/2008 |
| Q: I am 44 (divorced) female who started dating a 51 (never married) man about 3 months ago After ... A: Liz, Here's my thoughts on this issue... When I first started dating my husband he informed me on ... | |
| Why are gorgeous me turned on by ugly women? | 9/20/2008 |
| Q: I am considered to be extremely pretty, and sexy. I was a part time stripper until 4 years ago. My ... A: Cee, As far as I can tell from what you have written is that your guy has a fetish with online ... | |
| ? | 9/15/2008 |
| Q: well my boyfriend went to prison about a year ago and before he left he asked me to wait i am ... A: Meranda, Why not take a good long hard look at yourself in a mirror. Maybe it's time to start life ... | |
| why are women so vicious? | 7/31/2008 |
| Q: this has nothing to do with dating, but perhaps you can shed some insight since you are good with ... A: I'm not really an expert on this subject, as I am well past the age of 28, however, I can offer you ... | |
| Try AGAIN? Or do I know the answer? | 7/27/2008 |
| Q: My question is really one of moving on or going back for yet another attempt. I am a 37-year-old ... A: Ann, There are NO small steps in this relationship... It is just like breaking a drug addiction or ... | |
| Try AGAIN? Or do I know the answer? | 7/24/2008 |
| Q: My question is really one of moving on or going back for yet another attempt. I am a 37-year-old ... A: Ann, Thank you for your truly detailed and informative letter. But if you could read it from my ... | |
| dating | 7/21/2008 |
| Q: I recently found out that my old boyfriend from High School has been separated for 2 years after ... A: Lori, It seems to me from what you said is that your old boyfriend is cheating on his wife! There ... | |
| dating in 2008 | 6/1/2008 |
| Q: I have noticed lately that when I meet a man, I have to do all the work. Such as asking him for his ... A: Carrie, You sort of answered your own question! But if you want my own opinion on this subject - ... | |
| dating | 5/25/2008 |
| Q: Why is it that when a man puts his arms around a woman, it is the BEST feeling in the world? This ... A: Jaci, Although I usually answer questions from older women who are in the dating scene, I will try ... | |
| Doctor/Patient Question | 4/27/2008 |
| Q: I would like to ask you a question regarding a doctor/patient situation. I began seeing my ... A: Kathy, I see no harm in you asking him an open-ended question like you mentioned! I don't think ... | |
| hot men ugly women | 4/23/2008 |
| Q: I've noticed something. I've seen that very very sexy men, such as those guys that are typically ... A: Ana, You need to make a list of values that you want in a man. It may sound ridiculous, but even ... | |
| hot men ugly women | 4/22/2008 |
| Q: I've noticed something. I've seen that very very sexy men, such as those guys that are typically ... A: Ana, I am not an authority on this subject, but I can give you my honest opinion and see if you ... | |
| Unattractive boyfriend | 3/10/2008 |
| Q: I'm 41, divorced with 3 kids. I met a man online and we've been dating for about 3 months now. He is ... A: I know the old clique may not be the answer you are looking for but here it is anyway. "It's not ... | |
| understanding men | 2/23/2008 |
| Q: I am totally inexperienced when it comes to men. I have become divorced recently. It's been 3 months ... A: You've come to ask the right person! I had been married to one man for 33 years, we had been ... | |
| when to inform | 2/11/2008 |
| Q: I need some advice. I have entered the dating scene unexpectedly at age 48. I am an attractive, ... A: I am not clear on what you mean by "entering the dating scene unexpectedly". Does this mean you are ... | |
| Finding dates! | 1/27/2008 |
| Q: I am in my early fifties, still gorgeous but never meet any men who are single and in my age ... A: You are my first out of the country lady to ask a question. I thought about an answer but I'm not ... | |
| Dating/children | 12/13/2007 |
| Q: I am divorced with 2 kids still at home; ages 12 and 9. I also have an 18-yr-old daughter who lives ... A: Lisa, This is a tough question! You need to take into account many factors. First, does your 18 ... | |
| Expectations of the Middle Aged Man | 10/30/2007 |
| Q: I am a widow (not single by choice) four years. 52 years old. Extremely attractive, energetic. I ... A: Katie, You seem to be doing your own analyzing pretty good. Yes, the guy you dated who had money ... | |
| Expectations of the Middle Aged Man | 10/25/2007 |
| Q: I am a widow (not single by choice) four years. 52 years old. Extremely attractive, energetic. I ... A: Katie, You have certainly reached the perfect time to start dating! You have given yourself enough ... | |
| dating after marriage | 10/9/2007 |
| Q: I have looking for someone to help me get into the brain of my boyfriend. He was married (still is ... A: Kristi, Whomever is telling you that it won't work is absolutely right! First, he still has deep ... | |
| stood up | 10/7/2007 |
| Q: I met a very nice gentleman I was interested in and he asked for my number and gave me his. He was ... A: Elaina, It seems to me it was your own fault! When he first contacted you via texting you should ... | |
| call back | 9/29/2007 |
| Q: Let's say a guy gives you his phone number and you give him his, and he says he'll call you. Let's ... A: Natasha, Big question! Did he give you his number? If so, call him! We live in the day and age ... | |
| friend or more | 9/29/2007 |
| Q: I went to the grocery store and ended up meeting this amazing guy in the sugar/pancake aisle. Tall, ... A: Ana, Sounds like you met the "Perfect Man"! Unfortunately, during your conversation with him, you ... | |
| Wig on Boyfriend | 9/26/2007 |
| Q: My Boyfriend of 56 Wears womens wigs Shoulder lenght Because he lost some of his hair on top. ... A: Barbra, If it doesn't bother you, then I don't see any problem. If he looks foolish in public and ... | |
| dating at 50 | 8/26/2007 |
| Q: I'm a reasonably attractive, highly intelligent woman w/ a good sense of humor and sense of fun, ... A: Louise, First, you've come to ask the right person! I dated 40 men in one year and formulated a ... | |
| older women dating younger men | 8/8/2007 |
| Q: No matter how I try to date men my age or older, younger men are attracted to me and I to them. I ... A: If you're physcially fit and love doing all kinds of activities, then go and enjoy life! Live life ... | |
| older women dating younger men | 8/7/2007 |
| Q: No matter how I try to date men my age or older, younger men are attracted to me and I to them. I ... A: Ehtiyani, You must be a good looking woman for your age! I admire you! Be delighted in the fact ... | |
| did i do the wrong thing? | 7/25/2007 |
| Q: I was dating this guy Chris and everything seemed to be going great. We had so much in common, we ... A: Leslie, You definitely did the right thing! It made you feel a lot better to tell him off and to ... | |
| why does he even bother | 7/17/2007 |
| Q: I was in love with a man whom I suppose didn't love me back, although I thought he did. He was very ... A: Lena, You are so RIGHT to forget about this guy! He never mentioned to you that he had another girl ... | |
| Just Wondering | 7/16/2007 |
| Q: I'm in love with a guy I've been seeing casually for a year. He's separated with five kids (I ... A: Joy, It is all up to you to decide what you want in a relationship. You may have feelings for him ... | |
| Just Wondering | 7/13/2007 |
| Q: I'm in love with a guy I've been seeing casually for a year. He's separated with five kids (I ... A: Joy, My question to you is - "Do you really want this guy back in your life" and WHY? With 5 kids ... | |
| Getting Back together | 7/8/2007 |
| Q: I have a past boy friend who wants to get back with me I broke off with him after finding him in ... A: Susan, Your "friend" may be going through, Male Menopause! He is out to get his kicks before it's ... | |
| messy situation | 7/5/2007 |
| Q: I have a confusing situation I was hoping you could help me out with. It is a long letter and ... A: You are much too young for me to answer your questions regarding relationships. You are what they ... | |
| i'm so sad | 7/4/2007 |
| Q: I was very much in love with a man who cheated on me the years we were together and left me for the ... A: Nicole, This guy broke your heart! Don't be fooled by his email. He is just playing games with ... | |
| Boy friend | 6/18/2007 |
| Q: Both my boy friend are in our 50's Both non drinkers or smokers Both easy going people. We have ... A: Karen, It is quite evident that your boyfriend has a sexually related problem. Being a cross ... | |
| why does he contact me now | 6/5/2007 |
| Q: In graduate school I dated a man for about two months, fell very much in love with him but never ... A: Anna, I'm glad you made the decision to move on! You said previously that you moved to a different ... | |
| why does he contact me now | 6/3/2007 |
| Q: In graduate school I dated a man for about two months, fell very much in love with him but never ... A: Anna, You seem like a smart woman...realize it's OVER! Move on to find someone who really cares ... | |
| Friends lack of affection | 5/17/2007 |
| Q: ..My situation is a bit complicated. I'm perplexed, confused and just don't know what to do here. ... A: Paula, Thanks for the lengthy explanation of your relationship. It helps a great deal when women ... | |
| personality | 4/11/2007 |
| Q: I have sent this question to a few other experts but they seemed to be maxed out unfortuantely. I ... A: Elaina, It is difficult to define what his problem was! You may have waited too long to give him ... | |
| Is This Really REAL??? | 4/9/2007 |
| Q: I am starting a relationship for the first time since my separation. I have dated guys in the past, ... A: Kiana, What you need more than anything is time! You didn't say how long you two have been dating ... | |
| middle aged men | 3/30/2007 |
| Q: I am almost 51 and have been divorced for 5 years. Have dated a few men - gotten messed up and in ... A: I don't envy you a bit! The Middle-age man is a creature on the loose! Be VERY CAREFUL! Some are ... | |
| what to do | 3/18/2007 |
| Q: I was dating this guy for a couple months. We were really happy together, laughed every moment we ... A: "Life" is funny! You will learn over the years that strange things happen for a reason... If you ... | |
| what to do | 3/17/2007 |
| Q: I was dating this guy for a couple months. We were really happy together, laughed every moment we ... A: You really haven't given me enough details about the relationship to make a good evaluation - like ... | |
| jealous? | 1/23/2007 |
| Q: I've been dating a guy I really like for a couple weeks. Him and I get along really well and we ... A: Ana, It seems like you and this guy have hit it off well together. You seem to have a lot of ... | |
| what is up with him? | 1/1/2007 |
| Q: So I've been reading some previous answers about why men go for the younger gals...well in my case ... A: I know you may not like to hear some of the answers I will give you, but I guess I have the age and ... | |
| Married? | 11/4/2006 |
| Q: I work at a truck stop and I meet alot of different men every day. I am pretty good at picking out ... A: I know the feeling when your heart starts to throb when you meet someone who's chemistry is a match! ... | |
| No courage! | 9/18/2006 |
| Q: I am currently in the process of a divorce, from a very angry, controlling, alcoholic. We were ... A: Girl, you have got to take a serious look inside of yourself and decide what you want out of life! ... | |
| EXPERTS?? AT WHAT?? | 8/22/2006 |
| Q: Valerie, Out of all the self proclaimed experts on this subject on this site, I am wondering how ... A: Jeanie, First let me say, you apparently have never read my responses to the people who write to ... | |
| Why am I attracted to younger men only? | 7/30/2006 |
| Q: I have been divorced from an 18 year marriage for a year and a half. I ended the marriage and ... A: Stacy, George Clooney and Bruce Willis - Good Taste! I still find them sexy myself! You haven't ... | |
| Dating and the time for sex | 6/22/2006 |
| Q: I am a 51 yr old divorced woman. I have done the work needed to put my past behind me, and have ... A: Yes, all the rules have changed for dating! I think there are several things to consider at our age ... | |
| Is chivelry completely dead? | 5/23/2006 |
| Q: I m 56 and my boyfriend of 5 months is 61. I wanted him to meet my dearest and oldest and best ... A: Here's how I see the situation... Your relationship with your boyfriend is still young (5 months) ... | |
| Is it because of my age? | 2/15/2006 |
| Q: I am recently divorced and recently relationship-less. I go out alot. I am happy, outgoing, ... A: If you are recently divorced you should be taking your time in the dating scene. You are probably ... | |
| Companionship / Relationship | 1/30/2006 |
| Q: I am 78 yrs old and widowed going on 4 yrs. My Husband and i spent many years traveling and since ... A: Joan, It is so nice to hear of someone your age looking for a man! I'm glad you are healthy enough ... | |
| who does the inviting? | 12/29/2005 |
| Q: I am 56, divorced for 7 years, with lots of dating experience. I have been dating a wonderful guy ... A: It seems you have a lot of questions regarding this relationship with this guy. This has not been ... | |
| Hi, I went to a bar the... | 7/3/2005 |
| Q: I went to a bar the other night (it is a classy, sophisticated Celtic lounge) and was sitting by ... A: Ana, It has been over a week now since you first met Pete! I wonder if you waited for him to call ... | |
| Younger man | 4/29/2005 |
| Q: I date a younger man of 54 I am 58 We both look younger then our age. We are both thin built Have ... A: Susan, It sounds like things might be getting a little bit better between the two of you. Don't put ... | |
| Younger man | 4/27/2005 |
| Q: I date a younger man of 54 I am 58 We both look younger then our age. We are both thin built Have ... A: It's great to have found a man like you did. I'm certain if he hasn't had many women in his life, ... | |
| Stay or leave? | 3/28/2005 |
| Q: Followup To Question -Obviously I am not a woman, but I am hoping you can help me since your ... A: John, I'm sorry that you didn't receive my lengthly answer to your letter. I wrote you right after ... | |
| Research for Women OVER 50 | 2/7/2005 |
| Q: I am interested in actual academic research on dating for women over 50. Who are your sources? A: I used over 300 single women between the ages of 49 to 70 to do my research study. All of them were ... | |
| Man in Dresses | 2/3/2005 |
| Q: I am a Divorced women of 53 very pretty and slim built with long red hair. anf tall at 6 foot . ... A: Susan I think it's great that you accept this man for his own lifestyle. It must be very difficult ... | |
| Dating | 12/21/2004 |
| Q: "Hello, I was married for thirty years. I was the one who left but my ex-husband was an attorney ... A: Gail, Believe me when I say you are not alone! There are hundreds of women in the same situation ... | |
| Friend's hubby is cheating on her | 12/8/2004 |
| Q: I came to find out that one of my best friends' hubby is having an extramarital affair. I am in a ... A: You must be a very good friend to this couple! I'm hoping that you are not the one having the affair ... | |
| I work in Long Distance Company.... | 11/12/2004 |
| Q: I work in Long Distance Company. I called this grandmother in order to sign her up with our service, ... A: Mulhem, I do not know what nationality you are but I am guessing that the father has a pre-arranged ... | |
| what should i do. | 9/7/2004 |
| Q: there is this guy in my church,he is a friend and also my leader in church.infact he made me close ... A: Chioma, Think with your head instead of your heart! This man sounds like a "womanizer". He is out ... | |
Dating at Midlife
Answers by Expert:
Valerie
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
My answers are to women only! The truth is, Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars! A woman will not get the same answer from a man as she will from another woman. Life is totally different for the "Baby Boomers" of today and dating is not what it was 30 years ago.
Experience
Being a woman over 50 and facing a new life challenge of being single and dating for the first time in over 36 years was an eye-opening experience! I made it a "Quest" to research, "Dating"! After interviewing hundreds of both men and women in the "New Age of Dating" after 50, I have complied my study data into a systemized plan of "Finding Mr. Right". If you're over 50 and dating---I have the answers to your questions. I promise, my plan will help you make better choices in the men you date and eventually find Mr. Right.
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