Expert: PracticalHappiness.com - 1/28/2008

Question
I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years now. The relationship between us is perfect, we aren't married yet only because we are both in school and we both want to go to medical school. Once the future of our education is more clear we plan to marry. During this time I have gotten to know his family really well. I can't say I like them or love them, in fact I hate them. My hate is not unwarranted, they have not been the nicest people to me. I especially hate his sister who is my age and with whom I lived with for a period of 6 months. This was a terrible idea since we came to hate each other. I moved out halfway through the lease and have not talked to her, his other sister or his family since. I have found that I am constantly comparing myself to his sisters. I compare my body, hair, look, weight, lifestyle, everything. I find pictures of them on facebook and try to see if I am fatter than them. THe biggest issue, his parents money is really making my jealousy increase. His dad does the exact same thing as my dad for a living, he is an Orthopedic surgeon, yet he makes substantially more money. I recently found out that they now own a private jet. The reason I am so jealous is because these people are some of the worst people I have met. They are each extremely selfish and evil. It seems so unbearably unfair that bad people like them get to experience so many luxuries. Why cant they do something good with their money like start a free medical clinic or something. Instead they live this decadent life that spoils their children, his sisters have never worked a day in their life and have no intentions of actually using their degree towards a career, instead they look forward to living of their parents until they marry rich. These people stand for everything, morally and philosophically that I am against and yet I compare myself to them constantly. His sisters are attractive because they can afford expensive makeup, clothes, cars hairstyles, vacations, digital cameras, lap tops, plasma screens in their college apartment when they deserve none of it. How can I get rid of my jealousy and stop letting them control my life? I  myself am not ugly, or so people tell me, I just can't fix my own self esteem and get over the unfairness that I am witnessing by knowing them. Please tell me how to do this I am completely lost!

Answer
Hey, Jacky. Thanks for your question. They way to get rid of your jealousy is by starting to realize that what makes you a special, desirable and attractive woman and person is NOT the electronic appliances and face powder. What makes or can potentially make you wonderful is your character, personality, sense of humor, femininity, etc...  If you don't feel that you have much to offer in those department, you better start working in developing yourself in those areas, and as you do - you will feel very confident in yourself and you will not feel threatened or deprived of anything once you feel that good about yourself.  

Also, STOP comparing yourself to others - there is always someone richer, more attractive, younger  and more successful. So what? Who cares? Focus on making the most out of what you have and don't preoccupy yourself with those people whose shallow life and who inner emptiness forces them to compulsive shop and chase the best and the latest in products and services.

Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up. And if you found my answer helpful, please rate me on this site.

A.I.
PracticalHappiness.com