About Julianna Expertise Jealousy, whether it's your friend, your bf/gf, ex-sweetheart, you or even your own sister, I can help you. I can tell you how to make someone jealous, I can figuire out if a certain person is jealous of you. I can tell you how to stop someone from feeling jealous, I can even tell you how to make everyone around you jealous of you.
Experience I deal with being envyed all the time and I know exactly how to deal with all types of these situations. I know how to take the high road and I know when it's time to get even. I am a fair person too.
Question Two years ago, I met the love of my life. I was absolutely sure that we were meant to be together. I'm 21 and shes 18, but we talked of marriage very, very seriously. My parents absolutely adored her. She came from a broken home and they did A LOT for her (helped her with college loans, bought her a prom dress, arranged a graduation party, helped her buy a car, helped her find an apartment, and much more.) Nothing could have been any better with her, except the occasional arguements. I cant even tell you how amazing she was to me. I honestly don't have anything bad to say about her or our relationship, up until two months ago.
Problems started towards the end of August when she told me that she wanted a "break" because she thought we saw each other way too much, and didnt have time to herself anymore. Well, I did not take all this very well. I kept bothering her during the 'break' period, pretty much driving her nuts... so she ended up breaking up with me. I was really messed up for about a week after, but then went right into no contact and moving on with my life... which hasnt been easy at all. To make things worse, in July she moved into an apartment in visible view from my parents house, so everytime I come home from college, I'm always looking up there all the time to see what shes doing and whos up there. I literally have to keep my bedroom blinds shut so I dont go crazy.
She on the other hand, has completely changed during this month and a half we havent been together. I'm a Christian, we attended the same church, since the breakup she has walked away from it all. Everything she once stood up for morally doesnt matter anymore. She started hanging out with bad people, getting everything pierced, started smoking, drinking, partying, skipping class, just going pretty much crazy. I've literally watched her ruin herself. But for some reason, I still want to be with her.
The problem is that she wont leave me alone. At first, she was calling almost, if not every day. I have explained to her multiple times that I cannot be just friends with her, we are more than friends, we arent together and cannot talk. Most of the time she calls about dumb things (can you help me with this question, etc) But other times she calls angry that I'm hanging out with other girls, crying to me how I'm moving on so fast, asking if I miss her. But, for some weird reason, always brings up that she doesnt ever think we could be together again (trying to convince herself???) There are times when a week or so goes by, and I dont hear from her, but she always seems to come around, right when I think I'll never hear from her again. No matter how hard I try, I literally cannot get away from her. For example....
I'm an hour away from her and my hometown in college, and two weeks ago she came down with some friends and stopped by my house down here (her best friend is my roommate's girlfriend, which also makes things worse...) I ignored her while she was here in my bedroom and she came in, tried to kiss me, telling me it felt "right." A week or so later she called and I picked up for the first time since the kissing incident, she was hysterical telling me how much she missed me, that she cant sleep, trying to bring up old times, asking me if I'd ever even take her back after everything. I told her I didn't know.
Well, I came home from college last weekend, and while I was gone, she ended up coming down to my house on campus Friday night, with the same friend from last time (my roommate's girlfriend) She calls me asking if I was still in town, and if she could see me. What really made me mad is that she ended up staying all night at my house!! I was pretty annoyed, but didnt say anything. I felt like it wasnt even worth my time. But, of course, the story gets better.
Last Sunday I was back home at my parent's house and really missing her. So, I called her up. We talked for a few minutes and I asked her if she wanted to get together that night, just to talk. She agreed. We went and got coffee, and she was being extremely flirty with me. When we got back to her place, I went to leave and she told me she wanted me to come in. I shouldve left, but of course, I didnt. So, almost as soon as we get inside, shes literally all over me. Laying on me, kissing my neck, trying to hold my hand. I kept asking her what she wanted, and she kept telling me that it was me she wanted. She asks me what I want. I tell her that I want someone who knows 100% they want to be with me. She asks me if "shes that girl..." to which I replied, shes the only one who can figure that out. Then she started trying to kiss me. I told her no, because we werent dating and if nothing were to come out of it, it would be pointless. I also knew that she would probably regret it the next day. She asked me if I had kissed anyone else, which I havent, but she told me she had. It was killing me but I played it cool.
Well, she kept trying to kiss me, saying that she had to "see something." So, I kissed her. We kissed for a few minutes, and it was amazing. After we kissed, we just sat there, looking at each other. Then, all of a sudden, she started BAWLING. I asked her what was wrong, and she started saying how bad shes messed everything up, how I still have her heart, how shes happy without me but doesnt know if she wants to be without me... just crazy talk. BUT, of course, when I reply to anything she throws at me.... she changes. I said, look, I'm right here. I still care. Theres nothing I cant forgive you for. If you want to try again, I'm willing.
So she seemingly starts 'changing her mind' right after I respond to any of her nonsense.. saying things like, "I still don't know what I want, I'm not ready for you again, I cant be with you, we cant be together again, you're too good for me now, you have to leave..." I was like, ok, what was all that about?? She says.. just old memories. I ended up leaving. I havent heard from her since. Ultimately, I feel like that incident has set me back to day one in my healing. I'm really upset about her again. But, theres nothing I can do but to keep not calling and acting fine with everything.
I really dont know where to go from here. I'm starting to feel like I'm totally getting played. Shes all talk. If she really changed I might consider dating her again, because our relationship was truly wonderful before. But, she never actually comes out and says 'I want to be together again, or, I realize I made a mistake, do you want to try again?' Its always just beating around the bush, like, "I dont know what I want," or, "I'm just confused." We are bound to run into each other again. She and her friend are coming down next weekend for a big Halloween bash and I'm sure we'll all be hanging out together. I dont know how to handle it, as she'll probably try something again on me. I love her to death but I'm getting tired of her mind games, and I dont know if the girl I spent two years with doesnt exsist anymore. I really need some guidance!
Answer Dear Brandon,
It sounds like you both need time to think and it sounds like your both are equally confused.
Another thing, maybe she isn't coming out and saying "I want to be together again" because shes scared to know what you truly think of the situation or if you still love her the way you used to. Girls need to be reassured about this kind of thing before they can become secure to say whatever they please in a relationship again.
Lastly, I'm asking you to think about this, you need to decide if your love for her is strong enough to over come this long situation that's been dragging on your head. Because honestly you wrote me a two page story (No worries length doesn't matter) and I'm worried that you might be diving into misery, sometimes you need to make up your mind and choose between a past love that was amazing and a unknown future that might be better. Decided whether you can live with it, before you start asking yourself so many questions about her. Your feelings come first in this situation.
