About Jenny Expertise I can answer questions about how to deal with a cheating boyfriend/husband. Questions about the anxiety of always wanting to know what your man is doing. I can give expert advice as to why is your bf/gf acting the way they're acting. Basically I can answer anything that has to deal with Jealousy and Control issues.
Experience I've had many real-life experiences in which I can relate to the writer. I took a few Psychology classes back in 2007 and I'm dealing with the subject.
Organizations Grand Beacon Center; Coaching young adults with life experiences.
Education/Credentials High School Diploma
Currently enrolled in the Medical field in college.
Question QUESTION: I recently got engaged and I find that I have a problem with my fiance's romantic history. I'm not a virgin myself, but I have the strong belief that one should not have sex before the age of 18, and my fiance lost his at 16.
It seems that this really bothers me and I can't understand why, because I'm accepting of anything else. But when I don't block it out, I get pictures in my head of her touching or kissing him, even in non-sexual ways, to the point that I can't stand to be in his presence.
I've noticed that whenever I find out a boyfriend's history, this always happens. I know it's in part of having the type of brain that automatically pictures what I'm told and having a good imagination, but how can I turn this off and stop having these thoughts?
ANSWER: Victoria,
I need to know, what's the difference between having sex at 16 and having sex at 18 from your point of view?
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QUESTION: I think it's very wrong, at 16 you're still a child and I don't think a child knows what love is let alone how to deal with the possible consequences of sex.
ANSWER: and at 18 you know what love is??? at 18 do you know how to deal with pregnancy and STD's???
Victoria, there is NO age for dealing with consequences of sex, and there is absolutely NO AGE to know what love is.
A relative of mine got married when she was 26 years old and had a child.But she got divorce because she didn't love him and started cheating on him. And she didn't have a job, and still lives with her parents. Isn't it like living like a 16 year old???
I understand that the older you are, the more society accepts your way of life, but remember this is the 21st century, Children are not children anymore. Most of them know way more than we do now. But everyone has different opinions.
Also Victoria,
remember that your fiance is a guy. Guys start feeling sexual desires at an earlier age than girls do. Don't judge him because he had sex in the past, maybe that's what makes your sexual life more pleasurable.
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QUESTION: Well I don't necessarily agree with that part, but my opinions tend to be a bit more traditional.
I'm not trying to judge him at all, I just can't seem to get past this. The way I am as a person, I am very accepting of people as they are, but this I can't get over and I'd like to know how to do so.
I don't feel that blocking it out is a good way to deal with it, because if someone happens to bring it up in passing it'll be with me the entire day. I know it's unfair to him and I'm trying to figure out how to "fix" my issue.
Answer But if you already talked to him about it, the only thing left is for you to be strong enough to let it go and make it an issue in the past.
If this doesn't work the I suggest you go to a local Psychologist and maybe they will make you see it in a different way.
