About Jenny Expertise I can answer questions about how to deal with a cheating boyfriend/husband. Questions about the anxiety of always wanting to know what your man is doing. I can give expert advice as to why is your bf/gf acting the way they're acting. Basically I can answer anything that has to deal with Jealousy and Control issues.
Experience I've had many real-life experiences in which I can relate to the writer. I took a few Psychology classes back in 2007 and I'm dealing with the subject.
Organizations Grand Beacon Center; Coaching young adults with life experiences.
Education/Credentials High School Diploma
Currently enrolled in the Medical field in college.
Question Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and 1/2. We met online. Needless to say, I moved 1500 miles to be with him. He's a great guy in every aspect but one - he likes to chat and contact othr women online. He says I'm his one and only but he continually goes on dating/flirting sites and fills out lengthy profiles on what kind of girl he looking for like in True.com and i don't like it and told him so and asked him to stop several times. He told me to stop checking up on him. But I can't stop when I know he's up to it again. I get this "sense" about it, check and sure enough, he's doing it again. I told him how it hurts me, disrespects me,and maks me not trust him. This mistrust stems from when I first got here with him and found out he'd been leading 3 other women on at the same time as me(telling them he loved them, etc) I'm poitive he slept with at least one of them before I arrived to live with him. But, I forgave him all that and went on. He said he would never cheat on me while we are in a relationship together and he plans on being with me forever. Bu, I'm afraid to be betrayed again. I know I was supposed to forgive him and move on, but he keeps on contacting strange women. He's out of state right now ands has contacted (chatted/emailed) other women in that state. He says he's doing nothing wrong and is not meeting them or cheating. This jealously of mine is poisoning my thoughts and ruining our relationship each time I get upset over his new chat sessions or contacts. Is it alright for him to contact other women on these dating/flirting sites as long as he don't meet up with them? Am I going crazing? Should I be jealous and mistrusting? How can I learn to trust him? What do I say? Please help.
Answer Cathy,
There's no easy way to say this but is NOT normal for him to be doing this. Why didn't you get to know him more?
Usually people meet their partners online, is usually a habit to keep doing it. And no is not all right for him to keep talking to women online. EVEN IF HE SAYS HE DOESN'T MEET THEM!!!
You are definitely not going crazy, this behavior of his is not normal, specially if he's living with you. If you already sat down with him and told him that you're not comfortable and he still keeps doing it, then sweety he doesn't respect you at all. THERE IS NO RESPECT FROM HIS PART! and he will keep doing it no matter what the circumstances are. There is no way you can learn to trust a person that does not do anything on his part to be trusted.
I had a friend that went through the same situation, except he told her that he only talked to women when he was bored. What kind of excuse is that?! She ended up finding out that he saw many women throughout their relationship, so basically it was an experience she didn't need to go through.
What I'm trying to tell you is....THINK about YOU for a change. Love sometimes is not everything in a relationship, there's also trust, loyalty and honesty. So think about your life and do you really want to keep living your life stressed. Thinking about what he might be doing and if he still talks to these women?
