About Anisa Expertise I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you overcome these issues and improve your self esteem.
Experience I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you get through these issues.
Education/Credentials BS Family Sciences, BA Social Psychology
Question QUESTION: Hello,
My girlfriend and i have been in a relationship for quite awhile now. I have always been a little bit jealous about who she hangs out with mainly guys. I recently have gotten really jealous over a couple guys she has been hanging out with and texting all the time, because they are way more interesting then me to her. We basically live with each other for the past few months and she has never given me a reason to assume she is doing anything with these guys, but for some reason i have gotten so protective telling her not to talk to these guys when i am around and asking her not to hangout with them even with her other friends.
I guess the only reason I have to feel this way is because her previous boyfriend she had cheated on with other guys. Which makes me think every time she is out with these other people that what would stop her from doing this again. I want to trust her and I do, but whenever she is out thoughts race through my head and i become paranoid.
My question though is why do i get so jealous? Is there a way to combat jealousy? I think i need help because i don't to drive her away from me, which seems is all this pent up jealousy seems to do.
ANSWER: Hi Ian,
Have YOU ever been cheated on?
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QUESTION: Yes i have been, by my girlfriend before my current girl friend and by my current girlfriend, though most my friends don't for some reason think this is cheating but i think it is, my current girlfriend experimented with another girl in the first month we were dating. An it makes me freak out every time she is out no matter who its with... Like today she txted me asking if she could hangout with this guy that has been no stop with her lately. i said sure, but it ate me up inside, because she was already with him i found out...
Answer It makes sense that you have no trust based on your previous relationship (I do believe that any time you are betrayed it does constitute cheating, however, everyone has a different definition of what constitutes cheating). I suggest you talk to her about maybe cutting back on her time with these other men. There is nothing wrong with her hanging out with them as long as she is faithful, but if it is making you uncomfortable she should respect that and at least cut back for the time being, until you figure out how to get past your trust issues.
