About Anisa Expertise I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you overcome these issues and improve your self esteem.
Experience I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you get through these issues.
Education/Credentials BS Family Sciences, BA Social Psychology
Question In May, I was introduced to someone through a coworker. He's a firefighter, who wants to advance within the ranks, so he's studying for his lieutenant's exam and he is also a part owner of a restaurant. As soon as I met him, we clicked and I realized something was different about him in a very good yet odd way. Over the next month, we got to know each other, speaking daily and sooner than later, he asked me out on a date. On June 17th, we went out, had great dinner, wine and conversation. We left the restaurant and went to a bar, had a few beers and then headed back to my place for more wine. I told him to crash at my place since he lives 15 mi away and he did. No, we didnt, all innocent in just kisses and cuddling, which he initiated. Three hours after we went to bed, my alarm goes off. Both of not morning people, we get up, head towards the door and see its pouring out. I only have one umbrella and dart towards my car. I felt so bad once I get in my car because we said bye in passing but I was so focused on getting to my car as dry as possible. So, I sent him a text saying sorry, he responded its "ok, I'll survive. This rain sucks, please drive carefully." I respond saying "you too. Had a great time last night." No response. Realizing that I felt something in those past 6-7 weeks and that date, and not hearing from him in the week that followed, I called him and left a voicemail which was short, concise and sweet. I've still yet to hear from him.
Did I do something wrong? Did he get scared of how his life would change with me in it? How can two people so into each other and open with their emotions and ideas and being inquisitive about each other, just dissipate? Everyone usually has an idea about how a date is going, this one went perfectly...which has me so rattled and shaken. I'm not someone who usually says this but I really thought by the way he would ask me questions and wanted to get to know me, that he was the one.
So, this past weekend, I was at the bar for sunday funday and after a few beers had a bright idea. Ideas are never a good idea...especially after drinking in the sun all day. Anyway, a friend of ours had a friend in town from Ohio. He was tall, tan and cute....and totally into me. I convinced him the best margaritas were a block away and he had to try them. We had a lot in common, so I had no worries that this would backfire or we'd run out of things to talk about. So Dan and I walked down the block, and drank 3 (very potent) margaritas. Little did Dan know I had an alterior motive, I was using him to make the restaurant owner/firefighterI went out on the date with jealous. (he is part owner of this mexican restaurant that serves the margueritas that will knock you on your ass.) They were so busy, I didn't get to make him jealous but in turn I got Dan so shitfaced, he ended up going home and when Dan and I's mutual good friend Jason asks me where his friend was, I told him I got him drunk and I think he went home. A little later on, he proceeds to ask what I did to him and I told Jason the truth. He called me crazy and for some reason I didn't seem to think in my drunken state of mind that I did something crazy and tried to pursuade Jason that I showed Dan a good time, cause I did. Dan had no idea about my alterior motive. Jason doesn't hate me for doing it, he just thinks I've joined the crazies as most guys think women are.
Needless to say...I woke up this morning at 4:30 am, hating tequila as I always have cause I don't react to it well...wondering where my dignity was and realized I think I need someone to watch me when I'm drunk because I need my phone taken away and a leash to make sure I don't sway from my friends and make a fool out of myself.
I don't know what it is about this guy, or maybe it's the fact that I totally opened up to someone and got trampled on, I don't know, but I really need to get my mind off him. Any advice is appreciated.
Answer Hi Angela,
It doesn't sound like the firefighter is into you (I know, that sounds lame considering it's the title of a movie, however, it's possible). It can be frustrating analyzing and over-analyzing every word a guy says. Communication between men and women are not necessarily difficult but when women assume men should articulate a certain way, problems may arise. Men are known for straight talk, but sometimes even the kindest gentleman says things he really does not mean. When in doubt follow the golden rule of thumb: whenever there is conflict between what a man says and what a man does, always go by what he does. If he's not contacting you, ignoring your texts, or thinks you are 'crazy', then (for lack of a better phrase) screw him...you deserve better. And there is better out there. Remember, you deserve the best!
