Expert: Anisa - 8/6/2009

Question
QUESTION: I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY THAT I HAVE BEEN DATING ON AND OFF FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS. HE WAS RECENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL AND THEY BROKE UP, AFTER HIS AND HER RELATIONSHIP ENDED, ME AND HIM GOT BACK TOGETHER, I THINK THAT HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HER THAT ARE DEEPER THAN HE IS TELLING ME, HE SAYS THAT THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH HER ANYMORE AND HE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH ME AND STUFF LIKE THAT... I DO BELIEVE HIM BUT I HAVE BEEN DONE SO WRONG BY SO MANY PEOPLE THAT I AM AFRAID TO BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE HE MIGHT HURT ME LIKE THE PREVIOUS ONES I HAVE HAD... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT I DO WANT TO BE WITH HIM I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE EX! CAN YOU HELP ME OUT PLEASE?

ANSWER: Hi Quortnee,

You have some trust issues that you need to get through in order for this relationship to move further. He told you how he feels about you and how he feels about his ex, it is your job to have trust he is telling you the truth. Has he ever done anything to you to make you not trust him now?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I CANT SAY IF HE HAS OR HASN'T BUT I HAVE JUST BEEN DONE SO WRONG FOR SO LONG. HE MIGHT BE A GOOD MAN AND HE MIGHT BE THE ONE FOR ME, MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY, I LET MY GUARD DOWN SO THAT I CAN ALLOW HIM TO HAVE MY ALL BUT EVERYTIME I LET MY GUARD DOWN, THE PERSON ALWAYS DESTROYS IT... EVERYDAY I LOVE HIM MORE, AND HE'S AROUND ME EVERYDAY AND THE RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD IN MY EYES EXCEPT FOR THE TRUST ISSUES ON MY PART, SO YOU'RE RIGHT I NEED TO WORK OUT THOSE ISSUES AND HOPEFULLY I WILL..... THANK YOU A LOT

Answer
Since you have no proof that he has ever cheated on you, it is completely unfair to him for you to treat him this way. Your distrust of men has nothing to do with him. This is a personal issue that you need to work through before it damages any relationship you have with any man in the future. I hope you find the comfort you need to move on. Just remember, those jerks in the past did not deserve someone as fabulous as you, which is why they do not have you now and this wonderful guy does.

Good luck!