About Anisa Expertise I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you overcome these issues and improve your self esteem.
Experience I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you get through these issues.
Education/Credentials BS Family Sciences, BA Social Psychology
Question Hi,
My bf and I have been together over 4 months but I have known him since birth. Our moms have been friends for about 30 yrs. Over the years they have lost touch a few times. My older sister and his older brother have been dating for almost 6 yrs and they have a 2 yr old daughter. When my sister first started dating his brother, I started dating his best friend since kindergarten (for a very very short time btw.) During that time, he would tell my current bf detailed stories of our sexual encounters. He hasn't been friends with my bf and his brother for some yrs now for their own reasons. I have always had a crush on my since I was very young, but I really had no idea it would ever develop into such an important relationship. We had tried hanging out over a yr ago, but there was a big miscommunication; he thought I just wanted to fool around, and I didn't think he was interested. So we both let it go.A few months ago when I told him how I really felt, it turns out he'd felt the same way all along. Anyways we are very devoted to one another and there's so much mutual respect. Like nothing either of us has ever experienced. The issue that's been killing him for the past few days are the stories my ex told him all those yrs ago. I think they would bother anyone. My last bf was even worse. He would break up with me every time he didn't like what he heard about my past (which isn't that bad I've only slept with 5 guys.)anyways that scarred me a little. My bf is such a good guy and I can only imagine what must be going on in his head. I've said everything I can think of to help him let it go. And the truth is if he really can't let it go sometime in the near future I told him maybe we shouldn't be together. I had to deal with this with my last bf for yrs. I refuse to go through it again. He said he would really try because it's not worth risking our relationship to stay stuck on something that can't be changed. I figure it will take some time. Which is understandable right? And I feel I say alot to make him stay secure. But is there anything else I can do to help him? He says he's not mad at me, just that he wishes we could've been together a long time ago before everything and everyone in our lives. We are so good together it's crazy. Who knew? I hate seeing him bothered especially when it's about me and I can't make him feel better. Is time the best remedy? Or the only remedy? I feel like he's worth waiting for. Please help how should I go about this?
Answer Hi D,
This is actually something he will have to work out on his own. In a perfect world, none of would ever have had a past, but unfortunately that is not how life works. He needs to understand that you have a past, and every woman he will ever date will have a past, it's a fact of life. It is unfortunate that he knows the details of your past, but it has already been put out in the open and there is nothing he can do about it. He has to move on in order for this relationship to work. Sometimes all it takes is time, but he can not let it prevent a wonderful, happy union between you two. Just keep doing what you are doing...being there for him, showing him you love him, care about him and are supportive of him. He will realize the past is irrelevant and he is lucky to have you in present life.
