About Anisa Expertise I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you overcome these issues and improve your self esteem.
Experience I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you get through these issues.
Education/Credentials BS Family Sciences, BA Social Psychology
Question Hello. I have been in a rut in my relationship and I don't know where to turn. (I guess I just need some good advice) I'm 21 and my boyfriend of a year is 19. We have both been in very bad past relationships and have both been cheated on. Despite that we have been thinking about getting engaged. However, My bf has told me he has always been flirty and always loves to chase other women. I am an extremely jealous person and I asked him to stop flirting with other girls (we are both in collage) which he did. But just recently he has told me I'm starting to smother him and he would like the freedom of me trusting him enough to flirt and chase other girls (only to tell them hes taken in the end) and I am enraged by the idea. I don't keep track of his calls, I dont do any of that stuff, I just don't like other girls thinking that they can get with him and I dont like the idea of him coming home to me after hes had his "fun and games". He trusts me more than anything, and even though He has not done anything for me not to trust him, for some reason I still can't and the jealousy rages inside me. I can't figure out a way for myself to become less jealous and more trusting. Any ideas that I can do for myself or talk to my other half about? My jealousy is ruining our relationship :( just for info: "fun and games" for him with other girls would include dirty talking, sitting on lap, massages, major flirting, holding, outings, (not kissing or sex however, thats where I personally draw the line) I really appreciate any help I can get
Answer Hi Amber,
You are, by no means, jealous. You are a red blooded human person and your reactions to your boyfriend's behavior is not only 'normal' but a lot nicer than most women would react. What he is doing is beyond disrespectful to you and your relationship. There is NO such thing as "I'm just a big flirt". When a person commits to a relationship they are to end any behavior that can be damaging to the connection with their significant other, i.e, flirting, massages, lap sitting, etc. Does your boyfriend plan to continue this ill behavior once you are engaged? Even worse, once you are married? The fact that you have been cheated on in the past has nothing to do with this. Any person, man or woman, regardless of their past, will find this behavior inappropriate and insulting. I suggest you demand he end this behavior. How would he feel if the tables were turned and YOU were sitting in other men's laps or giving them massages? I guarantee he would be less understanding than you.
