Expert: Anisa - 9/8/2009

Question
QUESTION: Okay, I can't date until I'm 18. I met this guy A in January, and at the time he had a girlfriend, but was flirting with me. About a month later they broke up. The day I found out was the day he kissed me. We went secretly to some places together, and would makeout. It was honestly the best time of my life. We kind of "broke up" two times, but we got back together. Then, about a month ago he told me he loved me and wanted me to be his girl. I got scared, but finally trusted him because I love him too. Then two days after that, he got into a relationship with another girl, and I found out through Facebook. I got upset and kissed another guy. A got pissed, and said to our mutual friend Pale "Allie is a hoe. She was making out with me right, then the week I'm gone she's ALL over Brent. When I was single, I was messing around with her and ONLY her." I apologized to him, and said I loved him, and he never replied. Then when we were having an IM conversation, I said "Hey, you don't like me anymore, right" Then he signed off. I made my status that I missed him 2 days ago, and he commented simply saying ".....I know this is about me" What do I do? I want him back. I'm already wearing this dress he likes and his favorite perfume next time I see him. What can I do to get him back?

ANSWER: Hi Allie,

How old are you?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I'm 16, he just turned 17.

Answer
Thanks, Allie.

I asked your ages because it would better help me map out an achievable plan for you.

First, calling you a 'ho' is one of the meanest, most disrespectful things a boy could do. You only kissed a boy, but regardless of what you did with the other boy, it is YOUR business. You and A were not an exclusive couple, so what you do on your own time is your business.

Second, you told him you love him. This is a very big deal. Telling someone you love them means you feel it in your heart, it is not something you would say to just anybody. He responded by signing off of IM....totally rude. Not only does he not love you back but he's not mature enough to even reply to your statement.

It sounds like A is enjoying being chased around by you. He is enjoying the attention you are giving him by wanting him. He doesn't want you back so the more you try to chase him, the more 'in control' he feels.

At this point I would advise you ignore him. Do not contact him anymore, end all communication. Once he thinks you have lost interest, he will come back. He'll either text you, email you or conveniently bump into you in public.

Good luck!