About Anisa Expertise I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you overcome these issues and improve your self esteem.
Experience I can answer any questions relating to jealousy, envy and self esteem in any relationship (dating, marriage, friendship, etc). I have personal experience with dealing with jealousy and can help you get through these issues.
Education/Credentials BS Family Sciences, BA Social Psychology
I have been with my girlfriend for about 7 months now. And things are going great. We hang out all the time, and nothing ever goes wrong except for those little disagreements, but we usually have those figured out with in minutes and everything is cool.
But I seem to have a problem; I feel I am over jealous. When ever she talks about a guy or is talking to one I get this wierd feeling and just get quiet.
For example, she was at my house doing homework and this other guy was their. The other guy is my friend and has been with the same girl for 5 years. Well they were talking and laughing about stuff and it really got to me. I had to go outside to not let it get the best of me.
I know I have to get over this because she is a very social person and I know if I dont it will ruin things. Plus she has shown me enough to where I have no reason to worry. Is their anything I can do to stop this feeling?
Thank you!
ANSWER: Hi Kyle,
Usually, feelings of jealousy are associated with one's self esteem. Your girlfriend is faithful and has given you no reason to not trust her, therefore, you will need to work on issues you might have within yourself. Have you ever been cheated on? Have you ever witnessed someone close to you who was betrayed?
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Actually ya my last girlfriend cheated on me with a guy that was her close friend from the start. And now that I think about it back when I was with her I was totally comfortable with her hanging out with her guy friends including that guy.
So how do I work on those issues? Is their anything I can do or is it just trying to get my mind set back to where it used to be?
-Kyle
P.S. thanks for the speedy reply! :)
Answer Yes, there are things you can do.
First, remind yourself that you are an amazing person and you deserve the best. The girl who cheated on you has issues -- she cheated on you NOT because there was something wrong with you, but because there was something wrong with her. A cheater has no sense of self when they are cheating, they are unaware they are hurting so many people by cheating. Usually when a person is cheated on, they blame themselves or begin to think if they were a different person they would not have been cheated on.
Second, remind yourself that your current girlfriend is NOT your ex girlfriend. They are two different people. Just because they are both girls does not mean they will behave the same. Your ex is a horrible person...which is why she is your ex. Your current girlfriend is in your life because she has many qualities you love.
Give yourself time. You are still very young...you will begin to trust again very soon, I promise. :)
