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How to Deal with Jealousy/How to Make One Jealous/Love a friend, went badly, plz help.

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Hey guys I want to thank you in advance for taking out the time and reading my problem. Well without wasting much time here it goes.
Well it all started 2yrs ago at work when I met this girl through mutual friends. We were both getting over a bad relationship so we became really good friends fast. As time went on I became attracted towards her and she also gave me signals suggesting that she wanted more than just a platonic friendship (I have experience so Iím pretty certain that she liked me too).
Well it all started to go downhill when we both resigned and she went to another job and I to further my studies, we live in the same city, barely 30mins apart and decided that weíd meet regularly and do lots of adventure sports together. But her behaviour changed quite rapidly after that, she became more distant, not returning my calls, cancelling plans and so on. Well about 6 months into the confusion I got mad and confronted her over phone. I told her that I liked her and why she was acting this way. What she said really broke my heart. She said that she knew all along that I had feelings for her and she never had such feelings on her part that I was desperate, boring, predictable, she said that we can be on good terms but not friends at all. So basically she was ending the friendship. I also found out that she was seeing another guy who wasnít even in her life, all he did was asked and she said yes.
Now I really know that I havenít done anything to deserve that. I was a very loyal friend and although I had feelings for her, I never let it be uncomfortable and Iíve told her this also. I also regret that I had helped her a lot during our friendship with finances, academics, work, etc. I feel like a tool
So I guess Iím asking is that; what did I do wrong? And why is she acting this way, and should I ask for my money back that I had lent (not gifted her)? Or any idea of getting back at her is most welcome.

Answer
Hello, Kamal.

It doesn't sound like she was accusing you of being a bad person or being bad to her. She told you something that might be true about you and is certainly true about many other guys out there. Being told that you are boring, predictable, etc, should be a wake-up call to you that what you think women want and pleases them and what really makes them happy are two different things.

Our site has plenty of articles for you to read that might be a good start for you to learn about not being boring and predictable. I suggest you check it out.

Thanks,

PH  

How to Deal with Jealousy/How to Make One Jealous

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PracticalHappiness.com

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I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion. Learn more about me and my work at www.PracticalHappiness.com

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I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.

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M.A. in Philosophy

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