How to Deal with Jealousy/How to Make One Jealous/Group Date Or GNO


I am involved in a LDR and my girlfriend lives in another state. I am 44 and she is 39; both of us are divorced with kids. Last Sunday, her friend called her up and pleaded with her to meet her out. She told her that she really needed her and could she please help support her. My girlfriend went out at midnight and met her at a bar. The reason her friend needed help was that she had 4 guys from out of town that met up with her and she only had one other friend that showed up. As it turns out, it was a good thing that my girlfriend did go out as she was the only one sober and drove her girlfriend’s home.
I got a text right when she got home and I can relate because I have been the wingman before for my buddies back in my single days. No issue.

The problem arose on Tuesday when I got a text from her saying that she was going to an NBA game with the same group of men and the same two girlfriends.

I am not a fan of Girl’s Night Out but I am not going to demand that she stay home either. A group date or a GNO where the plans are to meet up with other men on the other hand are outside of my comfort zone.

She believes that she did nothing wrong and she is offended that I am ‘putting her on trial’ because I asked if any of the others were either married or in a committed relationship and their S.O.s were aware of this outing.

Am I in the wrong? I am a firm believer in the adage “If you hang out in a barbershop, eventually you will get a haircut” and Am I just being insecure or is this a reasonable expectation?

I agree with you about the barbershop part. At the same time, you can't and shouldn't try to restrict her social life as it will only make you look more insecure, jealous and unattractive.

I believe the issue here is the bigger picture. You have to ask yourself if maintaining a relationship with a woman who lives in another state is at all worth it. If you don't have plans to move closer or otherwise be able to see each other on a regular basis, how much faithfulness can you really expect from each other...    



How to Deal with Jealousy/How to Make One Jealous

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I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion. Learn more about me and my work at


I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.

M.A. in Philosophy

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