About PracticalHappiness.com Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion.
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Experience I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.
Question I have a major jealousy issue. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 months and we have an amazingly strong relationship. I am his second girlfriend, his first was very short and not meaningful. Between myself and his first gf, he had alot of one night stands. He told me that much but that's as far as he goes. He refuses to talk about who he slept with. Im not sure why i want to know, part of me wants to make sure he doesnt talk to those whores again, and then again i can't even imagine how i would react hearing it. Im not even sure how many girls he's slept with. I want to know where too, like if it was at his cottage because i dont want him to repeat stuff that he's done with girls in his past there with me too. I get this huge knot in my stomach and butterflies when i think about it. But he gets angry when i ask him. He insists on not telling me. Should i know? Or should he at least not act this way? We are stepping into a long-term relationship and i'm scared that if i do find out that it will change how i see him. I really do love him it's just his attitude about this that makes me think he's hiding something. What should i do?
Answer Hi, Mary. As I point out in my audio program "20 Laws of Successful Relationships" it's very important that you do not ask questions that you know you can't handle the answers to. Further, it's important that you respect your guy's desire to keep certain past things that have nothing do with you private and to himself.
With regard to his past - perceive it as a POSITIVE THING. This means that he is more experience, that he knows more about relationships and sex and that he can be a better partner.
Short sexual escapades are part of any young man's dating life. It's a natural stage of life where guys seek sexual novelty and variety and this shouldn't be a reason for your concern, if everything else in your relationship is good.
Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up. and if you found my answer helpful, please rate me on this site and comment on my work.
A.I.
www.practicalhappiness.com
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