About PracticalHappiness.com Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion.
Learn more about me and my work at www.PracticalHappiness.com
Experience I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.
Question Hi, I'm a 24 year old female and I've been in a committed relationship with my 25 year old boyfriend for almost 3 months, and I wanted to know how to deal with jealousy. This is both our only serious relationship that we've ever been in. He experiences jealousy too, probably more than me, but doesn't say anything sometimes. We're both very attractive, and a lot of times we get hit on by other people. I get very angry when my boyfriend tells me some girl made advances on him, and he just laughs it off. I don't say anything, because if I did, I know it will be a nasty comment, and I will want to confront this girl. I sometimes just ignore it and change the subject, but when he sees that it makes me jealous, he will play with it a little more by describing how she flirted with him. Then when I say something sarcastic, he'll just chuckle. Sometimes to get back at him and initiate jealousy in him, I will tell him of the guys that flirt or hit on me (especially the ones I see all the time)then he usually doesn't find it so funny. For some reason I like it when a he shows a little possessiveness. He will usually ask questions about guys that I talked to. It doesn't bother me at all though, I actually like it when he does that! lol. We love each other, I totally trust him, and I know neither one of us would ever cheat on each other, but I don't know why we both get such a rise out of making each other jealous? It also bothers me when he jokes about marrying a celebrity, that is if he wasn't going to marry me. It makes me so mad and he just laughs. So I make a mention of a few celebrity guys that I would marry, and he goes silent. I don't want to have jealous feelings for every girl he might mention. He might think its funny, but I don't. What is the best way for me to deal with these jealous feelings?
Answer Hi, Laura. Thanks for your question. Your issue is very, very typical of first-love / first relationship situations. Indeed, we tend to be overly possessive controlling or even enjoy the same treatment when we have our first serious relationship. We tend to idiolize and idolize our partner and our relationship which inevitably leads to conflicts / fights and other often unfounded problems in a relationship.
I have written a few articles on the issue of jealousy that proved to be very, very helpful to many people around the world on starting their journey toward abandoning jealousy. Go to my site www.practicalhappiness.com and search under "jealousy" for the article "How to overcome and abandon jealousy" Read it carefully and have your partner read it as well. Then, follow up with more specific questions towards me if you have any.
