About PracticalHappiness.com Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion.
Learn more about me and my work at www.PracticalHappiness.com
Experience I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.
Question I have a jealousy problem with my boyfriend where I'm at his place and we're about to get intimate when something comes up in conversation where he might ask me to do something, nothing out of the ordinary, but when he asks me, all I can think of is that he's done this before with someone else in this very spot. I can't help all the images I have of him with other women and it makes me insecure and jealous and we usually end up in an argument. No matter how hard I try to fight this jealousy, it always comes back. I can't take it if I see him looking at another woman who is better looking than myself. It makes me feel inadequate or that I can't compete with the other women in his life or the sexual things they did. I'm very shy and it doesn't help when he prefers that I'm a little more aggressive in the sex department. I keep telling myself to stop it and get over his past but it's hard. We've been together for just over one year. He always reassures me that he loves me very much and I do love him as well. He doesn't usually talk about his past, once in awhile we may touch on it and that's when I start asking the questions and then when I don't like what I hear, I get upset. How can I get over this? I don't want this to tear us apart.
Answer Hello, Carm.
The key to resolving your issue is in STOPPING to idolize your relationship and believe / seek that it be perfect.
Please sit down and acknowledge that your boyfriend DOES have experience with women, that he used to date before he met you and in fact - this makes him a BETTER boyfriend since he has the experience that makes him a better lover with you.
Jealousy is an emotion, and as such it doesn't go away just because you want it. It takes time, but with time, conscious effort, awareness of the above and realizing that what you feel is, although natural, unfair to yourself and your boyfriend will help you overcome and liberate yourself from this problem.
Also, please stop comparing yourself to other girls. He is with you which means that he must find something in you tha he doesn't see in others.
Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up. And if you found my answer helpful, please rate me on this site and comment on my work.
www.practicalhappiness.com
Dating & Relationships Advice
