About PracticalHappiness.com Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion.
Learn more about me and my work at www.PracticalHappiness.com
Experience I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.
Question QUESTION: My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years. He's gorgeous in every way, except for his wondering eye... the problem has existed throughout the relationship. I was able to keep my mouth shut for such along time but slowly its been wearing me down, and, unfourtunately images of beautiful, sexy women are everywhere, even when we rent movies there is allways some scantly clad women usually breast, butt on show. the problem is inside me, once he's viewed the sexy women, I feel, well i feel numb, sick that hes viewed her body and inturn i cannot physically go near him, i definately cannot have sex with him, he still has her image in his mind, i just freeze. i used to wear sexy clothes, dance around the house and generally have a happy disposition, whats happened? when did i stop being the adored? i feel lonely, i think i have a low self-esteem, i'm not sure how to rebuiled. i do not understand why it is so exceptable for men to look at other women, yet when out with their own women they want her covered up so no other man will be interested, i ask this then, don't guys ever think the girls they are dribbling over also have boyfriends?
ANSWER: Hey, Samantha. Thanks for your question. It's very important to understand that men and women are DIFFERENT! We are different creatures. We are built differently, hence we desire different things. At the same token, a guy could ask you why it's ok for women to be obsessed with shoes and purses and it's not ok for guys (at least the straight ones) to be the same way.
For men, especially young healthy men, it's a natural instinct to check women out. It's almost unconscious when it happens. You shouldn't take it personally. This doesn't mean that he wants to leave you or cheat on you or that he doesn't love you. His admiration of female beuty is impersonal and shouldn't be taken for more than what it is. Whether on the street or on the TV / interent - guys like watching! The sooner you accept it as part of his nature, the better of both of you will be.
Surely, if he leers and stares in your presence in a very obvious and disrespectful way, you should not hesitate to call him on that and that should resolve the problem.
Also, please watch my video tip relevant to your question here:
Thanks, and I hope this helps. If not, please follow up.
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A.I.
www.practicalhappines.com
Revolution in Dating & Relationships Advice
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QUESTION: Comparison with shoes is hardly the same in my apinion. Why should i accept it, i make all the effort and for what for him to enjoy another, i also think you are 'skirting' the issue, i don't think its appropriate for men to stare, its like having your own child and ignoring it and enjoying someone elses.
Answer Hi, Samantha. This is only the case if you allow yourself to assume that when the guy is checking out another woman, it means all that about him, but often it doesn't! Often, it's just an objective, non-personal admiration of beauty which men can hardly resist. Whether watching a movie, seeing photos in a magazine or seeing a beautiful woman on the street, a healthy, heterosexual men will check her out. The only difference is ... that some guys are more discreet about it than others. And surely you have the right to expect that the guy not be too obvious and too blunt about it.
I found that criticising male and female imperfect nature is easy but useless. On the other hand, understanding it and accepting it can take us a long way.
