About PracticalHappiness.com Expertise I can answer questions regarding how to deal with one's own jealousy and how to deal with the jealosy of the partner / lover and how you can liberate yourself from this destructive emotion.
Learn more about me and my work at www.PracticalHappiness.com
Experience I overcome serious jealousy issues with conscious work and effort, and that was a very liberating experience. I also helped several people to abandon their jealous behavior and line of thinking.
about a year ago me and my boyfriend went out to this small party, we got into a big fight and i walked home and left him there. he ended up going home with another girl (she sleeps with anyone and dresses like a prostitute). this girl is my friends friend, so i knew where she was staying. i came over to pick my boyfriend up in the morning and when i walked in the door they were lying in the bed together, and my boyfriend was in his boxers. i got really pissed off but i took him home anyway. he sez that he didnt do anything with her, but hes a massive liar (from past experience) so i dont really believe him. even if they didnt have sex him being a horny male would have been feeling her up while she was asleep and that makes me angry to. i asked him if he wanted to have sex with her, and he said that he got erect once (yeah right) while they were watching tv and she was lying on the floor. i dont love him and i want to break up with him, but its hard because we've been together for so long and when i do tell him to leave, he wont go. i feel like i hate him sometimes. there is a party this weekend that this girl will be at, and me and boyfriend are going. i get jealous when i see her because she is pretty and has massive boobs, because i know that boyfriend is most probably not telling me the whole truth about what happened. i dont want to get jealous because i dont think he is worth my time but i do anyway. what are your thoughts please? can you answer my question please, last time i asked someone a question here she didnt reply
ANSWER: Hi, Sam. Thanks for your question and I am sorry about what happened.
I believe it would be a better idea for you to evaluate your relationship as a whole. It sounds like there is much more to it than that incident a year go. From what you say - I can't quite figure out why you are with that guy. Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? Do you find him interesting as a person ... or the only reason you are with him is because you already spent a long time together and you just don't want to drop something which you invested your efforts into. Please take a moment to think about this and give me and yourself an honest answer.
Also, tell me how old you are, how old he is and how long you have been together, and I will follow up.
A.I.
www.PracticalHappiness.com
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QUESTION: hi thanks for replying to my question so quickly. I am 20, and he is 21. we've been together for just over 3years. its like we get on like friends, but theres something inside me thats not happy. i dont find him very attractive (he looks ok sometimes when he does his hair), but he always tells me that he thinks im really sexy and wants to have sex all the time. i have no desire to have sex with him tho, then he gets angry when i say no. i am scared of being alone, and when i told him to move out, he said he didnt have anywhere to go, no car, and that i couldnt just kick him out when he thinks we have something worth keeping. a while ago he started smoking weed and cigarettes behind my back, he was also buying alot of porn (which i find disgusting). i found pictures of other girls he had been txting, and he had videos of these two girls sitting on his bed having a seshin. when i asked him if he had been smoking, he looked me in the eyes and said no, he swore he was telling the truth. he had been hiding this stuff for a few months before i found out so i was pretty upset. thats when i started losing trust in him. he has lied again since then, and he always uses the line "you need to start trusting me" and that really pisses me off. i find it really disturbing how he looks at pictures of other women posing naked so he can wank over it, and im annoyed that he told me he wouldnt look at it anymore, then i looked on his phone the other day (i knew he was hiding something) and found heaps of pages of internet history where he had been on porn. i asked him if he had been looking, and again he said no (with a big story of trusting him). then i told him i already knew, and he started saying that it was normal. i said its not normal to disrespect your girlfriend, and do something you know she doesnt like. i know its not that bloody hard to not look at porn, you dont need pictures to get aroused it just happens, and if your not aroused why do you want to look at other women to jack off at? i find it so disgusting that i havent had sex with him since then. why should i give him some, when apparently pictures of other women give him the same effect? on a completely different subject (sorry i know im going on a bit i just havent been able to get any of this off my chest to anyone) i dont like males in particular. they're all after one thing, and they treat women like shit (i hate walking down the street and you can hear guys saying look at her, look at her arse, id like to do that etc). i also hate how no matter where you look there is a women who is half naked or doing something rude. im sick to the teeth of this advertising being shoved in my face 24/7 im so confused about where i am, and whats happening. please give me any thoughts you may have, im feeling quite low at the mo. thanks
Answer Hi, Sam. I believe the situation is pretty clear to me.
First, with regard to porn and masturbation, I suggest that you accept the fact that the vast majority of young guys do that and ... it's nothing you can or should take personally. These young men simply exercise their urges driven by nature, hormones, etc...
The issue here is that you have NO reasons to be with him. You don't enjoy his company and you are not sexually attracted to him. I can see no reason why you would be with him for another minute. Habit? Fear of being alone? You must overcome those temporary psychological obstacles as soon as possible for your own sake. Clearly, you are in the wrong relationship and it is doomed. The longer you wait the more time of your own and of his you will waste.
Sometimes correct decisions are not easy to make. This is one such case.
I am sorry if I sound harsh, but that's my opinion.
