How to Deal With Relationships in the Workplace/Work relationship


There is a guy that I am interested in getting to know. I only see him a couple times a day and we've never really talked. I'm really shy. I'm wondering how I should go about getting to know him without making a fool of myself at work.

Hi AJ,

Each time you see him, put a big smile on your face and say hi or hello. After a day or two,  extend the greeting to "how are you doing or how's your day going?"  Your goal is to get up your courage and confidence to approach him.  After a few days of that, take a deep breath, square your shoulders and say, "I need a coffee break; how about you?"

If he says yes, use the time to ask about him, his interests, what he likes to do for fun, what he thinks about the job, etc.  If he says no, don't be defeated.  He may have work to finish, other plans, etc.  Just smile, and say, "another time then; let me know when you're up for it."  

I'm assuming you have some friends at work.  Before you ask the guy out for coffee, ask one of your friends who know the guy if there is anyone special in his life currently.  That's information you may want to help you decide if the timing to get to know him is good.

Take care.  I wish you well.

Alice J. Bogert  

How to Deal With Relationships in the Workplace

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


alice bogert


I can field questions related to employee-employee relationship issues as well as employee-manager relationship issues.


I supervised staff at the county and federal level for over 25 years. I have extensive experience dealing with employee disputes, management employee disagreements, morale issues, managing change, etc. I teach a variety of leadership and conflict resolution classes.

National Association of Retired Federal Employees, Business Women of America.

I have a Masters Degree in Sociology.

Awards and Honors
Three Quality Step Merit Awards for Excellence while employed with the federal government. Numerous awards for training classes I've done.

Past/Present Clients
Private industry, Los Rio Community College District, federal, state and county government

©2017 All rights reserved.