How to Deal With Relationships in the Workplace/Looking for advice of female mindset


First of all, sorry for my english level. Ask for clarification if needed.

Thing is I had a workmate I'm REALLY interested in and I was like 99% sure she liked me, but we never had too much interaction, mostly because I'm sort of shy. She worked in another area of the company, in a room next to the one I work in; both rooms are visible from each other. One day before she left, there was a moment where she openly stared at me (at least that's what I think) standing from the other room for 30 seconds or so like waiting for me to do something and I did nothing, I didn't know what to do and I got blocked, so I pretended I hadn't noticed it (yeah, I acted like an idiot and a coward) and waited for another opportunity. One day later she left.

One month later, I realized she was still working "here" thanks to a "group" email where some of her work was commented. So I emailed her (which is the only way I have to contact her) to congratulate her and asked about her location.

She answered me sth like "Thank you so much! What an excitement to see your work recognised! I've gone to xxxxx to study xxxxxx and I've been allowed to telework :)."

I can confirm the info she gave me is true and I guess she will be there like 9 months and then she will come back, and maybe she will come back before for some vacation periods too. After her response, I decided to be more explicit but I didn't want to show I was too much interested in her. I only did this once and I was rejected while being sure I was loved back, and it really affected me, so I prefer to be cautious. I emailed her something similar to this:

"Fuck! That's too far. It sounds like you're gonna be there for a long time. Well, anyway it's nice for you to study.

If you come back, or pass by the city (I don't know if I will go on here or what), I'd like to meet you and go for a drink, you can call me to [my phone number]. Don't doubt if you want to!

Well, I don't wish to go on at great length because I will get fired if they see what I'm using the work email to hahaha.

See you soon!"

I was expecting her to give me her number or tell me how long was she gonna be there, but I got no answer. Now I doubt if I tend to overthink (well, this is pretty clear lol) and she never liked me, maybe she wasn't even looking at me that day, so she simply ignored me. The other possibility I see is that, despite giving her my number, my email sounded like a goodbye and she didn't like it, but why no answer at all? I have no idea!

I don't know if I should maybe clarify my intemptions (I don't want to loose contact with her). I don't like the idea of begging and being rejected, and worse if it's using the work email.

Seems like she's not interested in me? Should I let it go?

Thanks in advance.

Hi Javier,

My opinion, the use of the F word is offensive.  You don't really know this girl, so to use that kind of language was not a wise thing to do.  The bottom line is she didn't respond for whatever reason.  Do yourself a favor and let it go.  

In the future, if you want to get to know someone better, start by actually talking to the person.  See what the two of you have in common.  Don't rely on glances or smiles to tell you if someone likes you.

Take care.  I wish you well.

Alice J. Bogert  

How to Deal With Relationships in the Workplace

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alice bogert


I can field questions related to employee-employee relationship issues as well as employee-manager relationship issues.


I supervised staff at the county and federal level for over 25 years. I have extensive experience dealing with employee disputes, management employee disagreements, morale issues, managing change, etc. I teach a variety of leadership and conflict resolution classes.

National Association of Retired Federal Employees, Business Women of America.

I have a Masters Degree in Sociology.

Awards and Honors
Three Quality Step Merit Awards for Excellence while employed with the federal government. Numerous awards for training classes I've done.

Past/Present Clients
Private industry, Los Rio Community College District, federal, state and county government

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