AboutPete Expertise I am an Australian clinical hypnotherapist and counsellor who can answer all questions to do with male sexuality and questions relating to intimacy.
No problem is too big or too small. You can ask in total confidence.
Experience Comprehensive experience in hypnotherapy and counselling in Australia over a number of years. I have two very successful clinics that cater for people what to make permanent positive changes in their lives.
Organizations Full Member Australian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Arts Degree, Post Graduate Diploma of Education, Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Graduate Diploma of Psychotherapy & Counselling
Past/Present Clients I do not discuss past or present clients
Question So, I am dating a 31 year old thats still a virgin. I'm 18 and im not a virgin. The problem i am having is that either he does not want to have sex or he is scared or something else. We tried to have sex a few times and the first time he lost his erection right when he was about to enter, which i can understand that... it was probably because he was nervous. So i kinda had no concern and i figured as time went on he would feel more comfortable and be more open. Well time went on and it seems to be getting worse. The second time i tried to come on to him.. i could see that again that he felt really uncomfortable so i stopped and asked him what was wrong.. he said he wants to do it but he just cant and he does not know if its his body or his mind telling him this. I even try to talk about sex sometimes and he just completely changes the subject. He even told me he was in a 4 year relationship before and had no sexual contact whatsoever with her. I love him so much and i dont want to loose him over something dumb like this. First of all i dont know how to approch him about getting help. I also dont know what he needs help with because i dont know what his problem is. I know he is attracted to me...im am just so confused. Is this normal? How should i approach him about it and also what do u think the problem is? Please help me i really need some answers here!! Thanks soo much for your time i really appreciate it."
Answer Hi Sam
Thanks for sharing with me.
It sounds as if you need to sit your partner down and have a very sincere heart to heart with him. Reassure him that you love him, but you need to get some progress re sex.
Teach him how it feels to enter his finger(s) inside of you; this way he will know what to expect when his penis makes contact. Just make sure that his fingernails are trimmed and he uses plenty of water based lube.
If he still has issues with sex, he sounds like he could benefit from some counselling.
Just remember that if he does not want to deal with this issue, you will have to decide if you want to stay in the relationship.
