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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Women's Health > How to Deal with Sex Problems > A few questions about sex

How to Deal with Sex Problems - A few questions about sex

Expert: Azure - 10/30/2009

Question
QUESTION: I am 18 years old. I have never had sex. I have done a lot of research on having sex, more specifically the first time a girl has sex, so I know a lot about the first time(or few times) being painful/uncomfortable for the girl and that there might be some bleeding because of the tearing of the hymen.
-I read that the hymen is at the entrance of the vagina, so it is not actually inside of the vagina, or is it?
And I have also read that for most girls their first time was so
painful that they almost didn't want to do it again.
-Why would they do it again?
Is it simply to please their partners?
I also read that most times when a woman has sex that she doesn't reach the orgasmic phase.
-So does sex really feel good for a woman? And are all of the moans and sounds that women make during sex controllable? Because I have clitorally masturbated before and I have never screamed or moaned. I have stuck my finger inside of myself while I was masturbating a few times just to see what it would feel like
and it didn't feel like much of anything.
-If I have sex will having the guy's penis inside of me feel the same way?
-Does having sex with a guy feel any different than masturbating? Does it feel better?
Thank you for answering my questions.
P.S. I have talked to my mom about this, but she didn't feel like taking time to talk to me about this :-/.

ANSWER: 1..hymen at entrance, not very far inside; 2.it's not always that painful--they do it again beause sex is a human need, and most times pleasurable; 3.orgasm is reachable for most women--certainly pleasuring a partner is also a motivation; sexual sounds are variable/natural, but some people are more inhibited/reserved/less vocal than others...doesn't mean they enjoy it less; finger not the same as a penis, tho some women only come thru clitoral stimulation; 4..sex with 2 different than masturbation, though the climax might feel similar; masturbation is purely physical--with another personal, there's an emotional component--it's an intimate sharing you don't get alone..

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for answering my other questions.
Is there a way to make the first time less painful? Like is there a position that will make it less painful? I know that the female has to be turned on so that she is wet and the vagina will open up and make room for the penis. Will that happen for a virgin too? And people say that after sex, there is always "a mess", what leaves a mess?

Answer
not worrying about the pain will make you more relaxed and make it less painful--childbirth is painful too and people still have babies; virgins, with proper foreplay, can get aroused/wet; as for "mess", sometimes when breaking the hymen there is some blood, but again, this isn't stuff to be overly concerned about==

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