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About Azure
Expertise
expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work...technical editor, "dating for dummies";thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
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top expert at expert central.com...extensive background in psychology, social work, life experience...
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B.A. Bates College (psychology)...graduate study Fordham University School of Social Work
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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Women's Health > How to Deal with Sex Problems > My husband has low sex drive
Expert: Azure - 10/30/2009
Question
I am a 41 year old and my husband is 58 9 will turn 59 in Dec) When we first met 4 years ago we couldn't have enough sex then all of a sudden I practically have to beg him to have sex so we would manage to have it approx. once every month or every 2 months. For the last 5 and 1/2 months he was off due to a back problem which ends up being arthritis. Before the back problem occured we had not had sex in a month and when the back problem started I was understanding that he was afraid to "hurt" himself so I didn't push it. Now the results are in and he's back to work however he still is not interested in sex. I've offered and practically begged many times to give him oral sex so he can "rise" to the occasion but he says no. He says he loves me and finds me sexy, he claims he's not having an affair and that he's simply not interested in sex. How can I help the situation? What can I do to change his mind?
Answer
not a question of a mind change; the guy either has a physical issue, is seeing someone else, is addicted to porn/masturbation, is gay, or has lost all desire for YOU; time to INFORM him that the situation is no longer acceptable, and that his honesty/cooperation/consideration in solving this issue is now REQUIRED, or you're out; this means he has to give you more than "not interested", and if after this discussion you truly believe he honestly doesn't know the cause, then he needs to see an endocrinologist to evaluate hormone levels, consider testosterone supplementation; the next step might be couples counseling; if he refuses to make this HIS responsibility, then it's either quiet desperation, or leaving...
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