Expert: Pete - 10/15/2009

Question
Hi Pete, ive been married to my wife for about a year. before that we dated 3 years. before i keep going with the question i guess it is important to mention that its never been really easy to make my wife orgasm. she claims that she can only orgasm when she is on top in other words cowgirl position. so basically i just lay there while she reaches her climax. So since we've been married we've been pretty stressed out with work and its been a pretty bumpy first year of marriage but we're hanging in there. to make a long story short ....i cant make her orgasm. its been a while since she has. i dont even think she tries anymore. and i guess since i cant make her climax we are not having much sex these days. its to the point were she threw it in my face that im not making her orgasm when she didnt have this problem before. what can i do....what new things can i try? sometimes i beleive shes just not sexually attracted to me. other times i beleive that stress could be the problem. whichever it is it makes you feel terrible as a man. please help!

Answer
Hi JJ

Thanks for sharing with me.

A lot of women get the most orgasm from clitoral stimulation rather than penetration.

This is why I always suggest that guys develop their oral sex skills.  

Cowgirl and doggy style are very good positions for extra stimulation.  However I think that there are some issues outside of the bedroom that also need to be addressed if you are going to heal your relationship.

Remember, that your wife also has a responsibility for her own sexual happiness - not just you.

I wish you well

Pete