AboutJohannes Expertise I have the ability to give mature and appropriate responses to questions regarding adolescent and early adulthood sexuality. Inquiries regarding gay and lesbian activities will be answered without moralizing on my part and will be purely gender sensitive.
Experience I am a clinical psychologist as well as a college educator who specialize in sexuality and had been doing lectures, seminars and actual classroom teaching regarding the topic for the last 12 years. I also have a weekly radio program that listens to sexual, emotional, social and personal problems of adolescents and young adults that they themselves cannot discuss openly with peers or members of the family
Question I'm 17 and I can't stop thinking about girls and sex. I'm a virgin but I tend to masturbate a lot and have guilt and anger after I doing it. I can't stop thinking about girls and a desperate fool trying to date but get shot down when I ask them out. I hadn't have a girlfriend in 3 years now and each rejection porn seem to be my only girlfriend.
Please, this isn't normal and hurting me emotionally. What's my problem and what do I do?
Answer Dear Kensley,
At your age, you are not alone. Most males during the peak of their puberty masturbates a lot. There is nothing wrong with it unless it starts to hurt your physically, emotionally and socially. Like you start to develop blisters in your penis or you don't want to go out with friends anymore because you prefer to masturbate all day. Other than that, you are quite normal. Ninety nine percent of males masturbate. One percent lie about it. You're OK.
Also at your age, you are intensely attracted to females. This is normal because it is the stage where you are being prepared to handle more serious relationships in adulthood. Adolescence is a training ground for adult heterosexual relationships. It is when young people like your are given the chance to hone your skills for social and sexual relationships. Getting turned down teaches about the things that you should or should not do in the company of girls. Getting a date has got something to do with what you say to them and how they see your intentions. Do you appear like you want to have a date just to get laid? Girls can sense such intentions. Getting a date involves certain social skills. To start things right, you must have the three basic Hs. First, HUMOR. And this is the most important. If you can make a girl laugh, you're in first base. Girls hate boring people. You don't have to ask her for a date yet but you have to make her enjoy the time she is with you no matter how short or long it is. Next is HUMILITY. Never brag never appear obnoxious. Girls hate people like that. Just try to be a down to earth person. Last is sense of HEARING. Girls love it when they have someone that listens to them no matter how silly their preferred topics would be. Always be there to listen to them. Try to imagine a girl dating a guy who is humble, funny and concerned and understands what she feels? Who can refuse that? You may not get laid during the first date but you would have certainly something to look forward to.
