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About Azure
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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work...technical editor, "dating for dummies";thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Women's Health > How to Deal with Sex Problems > sex
Expert: Azure - 10/29/2009
Question
Lately i have been having trouble getting horny. Not only with my girlfriend, but even with myself. It all started when my girlfriend had a yeast infection and we couldn't have sex for two weeks. I used to be the type of guy that wanted sex anytime anywhere. when she was all better and wanted to have sex a couldn't get hard. This really shot my confidence down. I got over it and sex was great. Recently she had her period and sex was over for a while again. I feel like i'm back to square one and unable to perform. I am a 19 year old male and i don't understand why i can't get horny.
This has been stressing me out and the more i think about it the worse it makes the problem. This makes me feel bad because my girlfriend is very attractive but i feel like i'm letting her down. In the end she feels like shes the one doing something wrong.
How do i turn this whole mess around?
Answer
yeast infections and periods aren't very sexy things to think about; you have to change your mindset, focus on the things about her you like--both those things are now gone, but the period will return; during that time there are other means of pleasuring each other; if you keep worrying about how you'll perform, it will only get worse...just focus on giving her pleasure in various ways, and your arousal will naturally return...
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