AboutPete Expertise I am an Australian clinical hypnotherapist and counsellor who can answer all questions to do with male sexuality and questions relating to intimacy.
No problem is too big or too small. You can ask in total confidence.
Experience Comprehensive experience in hypnotherapy and counselling in Australia over a number of years. I have two very successful clinics that cater for people what to make permanent positive changes in their lives.
Organizations Full Member Australian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Arts Degree, Post Graduate Diploma of Education, Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Graduate Diploma of Psychotherapy & Counselling
Past/Present Clients I do not discuss past or present clients
Question QUESTION: Up until recently my girlfriend and I have both been really happy together but when we were apart I would occasionally get serioud feelings of doubt as to if she loves me or not. However in the last to weeks ive grown to realize she does but know i question myself as to if i love her.
I dont know where this feeling of doubt recently sprang up, one thing that worries me is sex. Not having it but, i never seem to really be into things when she touches me as opposed to when i touch her, and im kind of into but she is clearly into it.
i dont know if this is just like depression or maybe im not sexual i dont really know but im worried that means i dont love her.
ANSWER: Hi Andrew
Thanks for sharing with me.
I think it is important that you take some time and talk honestly with your girlfriend about your relationship. There is a good chance that she is becoming concerned by your hesitation and may think that it is all her fault.
Too often men become performance focused about sex rather than have a focus on giving and receiving pleasure. This I fear is a product of the porn industry.
You need to work out what sexual things you like her to do for you, remembering that sex is all about honesty and trust.
Sometimes it can be hard to be vulnerable and be on the receiving end. But this is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Depression would also have symptoms of a dejected mood. If you are not sure, have a chat with your doctor.
I wish you well
Pete
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QUESTION: Thanks a lot man,honestly I didnt know if anyone would actually reply XD. However and addition question if its not to much trouble: Do you think that it is possible that these feeling are at a like subconscious level and that while they are there maybe im not fully concious of them but they still effect me? if that question makes sense
Answer Hi Andrew
I think that a lot of our so-called stress and anxiety in the modern world stems from unresolved fears and negative thoughts.
In relation to sex and relationships, if you consistantly question yourself with taunts like "are you good enough for this girl" "are you really good enough in bed" or "can you really trust your emotions about her" there is a high chance that your thoughts will sabotage the relationship.
So, as I said before, go back to basics. Tell her that you have strong feelings for her and articulate what she does for you sexually (and most importantly be as specific as you can) because simply teling her "I like how you give me a bj" does not really say much.
Doing some work with a therapist could be fruitful to you.
