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About Pete
Expertise
I am an Australian clinical hypnotherapist and counsellor who can answer all questions to do with male sexuality and questions relating to intimacy. No problem is too big or too small. You can ask in total confidence.

Experience
Comprehensive experience in hypnotherapy and counselling in Australia over a number of years. I have two very successful clinics that cater for people what to make permanent positive changes in their lives.

Organizations
Full Member Australian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Arts Degree, Post Graduate Diploma of Education, Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Graduate Diploma of Psychotherapy & Counselling

Past/Present Clients
I do not discuss past or present clients

 
   

You are here:  Experts > Health/Fitness > Women's Health > How to Deal with Sex Problems > can't maintain erection when penetrate starts

How to Deal with Sex Problems - can't maintain erection when penetrate starts


Expert: Pete - 6/19/2009

Question
QUESTION: Dear Sir,
I am 25 years old, without many experience in sex. I had sex with one girl before, just for one night and it was ok. Recently, I tried to have sex with one girl who has boyfriend somewhere abroad and we were seeing each other about one time per week. First time with her to my home I had questions like how could i do that etc, and all the time I had semi erect penis. Second time I build up my penis by myself, and a little oral sex by her side, and when I tried to penetrate (she was on top) my erection went down than I build it up and when tried to penetrate I cum. Third time, she build me up with his hands and oral sex and a little by myself, then I feel that is the time to penetrate her. Missionary position and I penetrated her just a little and my erection went down again, than I build it up and when tried to penetrate I felt that erection was going down and cum again. After that we didn'y try sex again maybe we will do it, because she went to her boyfriend for a couple of weeks. She doesn't like that penetration problem, but she was ready to talk a little.
I had not masturbation problems, morning erection think ok (in some time semi erect in some time fuly erect). Maybe I used to wach porn, anxiety,... help please!
Thanks for your answer!

ANSWER: Hi Peter

Thanks for sharing with me.

It sounds to me as if you are dealing with Performance Anxiety.

You need to relax more about sex and become more focused on going and receiving pleasure.

It would not hurt for you also to consider the long term value in this relationship considering she already has a boyfriend.

Let me know if you need more info.

I wish you well

Pete

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Pete,
Thank you for your reply very much ! I woud like to ask you just, how could it stop? Is there some recepie for that (maybe same girl, experience, many girls etc...)? And from your experience how long coud durate this kind of performanse anxiety?
Hope to hear from you soon,
Thanks !

Answer
Hi Peter

There is no simple answer: everyone is different.

You need to remind yourself that sex is more intimate ans sensual than you have thought in the past.

By relaxing more about it and enjoying being intimate with your partner, over time the nerves will go away.

Starting off with a non sexual neck and shoulders massage and then swapping the favour is very useful to reduce stress and worry before starting foreplay.

I wish you well

Pete

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