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How to Deal with Sex Problems/boyfriend wants too much sex


kateish wrote at 2012-07-10 04:38:02
The previous answer is filled with sexism and misogyny. Sex is not comparable to thirst. Sex is not a physical need. It is for pleasure, children (if that's your goal), or just plain intimacy. Don't let him pressure you and make you feel guilty for exercising control over your own body. Put your foot down. You are to be respected by him, not treated like your feelings and what you are/are not comfortable doing does not matter. It's not all about what he wants. Good luck, girl.

Mina wrote at 2015-01-05 20:20:28
I agree with some of the things Johnny has said -- there is nothing wrong with your boyfriend having a high sex drive or being into "different" things. I also think you judge him too harshly for what you seem to see as "deviant" behaviour.

But (and it's a big but!), there's a serious problem on his side too -- especially that thing about having sex with you when you were asleep. He thought you were awake? Balls. He thought you wouldn't wake up, that's what he thought. That shows a very basic lack of respect for you and your body, and you shouldn't put up with that.

Also, from a more neutral perspective, he obviously has a higher sex drive than you (I would call your sex drive "normal-high" and his "very high"), and he doesn't respect you enough to listen to you when you say it's too much.

You're having doubts about this guy, and you should listen to them. Even though he may not be a creep or a pervert or anything of the like just because he has a high sex drive, he certainly has so little respect for you that it will no doubt end in tears -- if you're not giving him enough of what he wants, I am certain he will cheat on you.

Don't waste yourself on this guy.

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

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