How to Deal with Sex Problems/Loss of sex drive


I'm a 21 year old female who has been sexually active for 3 years. I am currently in an on again off again relationship with a guy (he's the same age). We've been together for 2 years and I love him very much. However in the past year, I've had issues becoming sexually aroused. I'm just not into it very often. We keep things pretty interesting in that aspect, so it isn't for lack of trying. It takes a LOT for me to get into it, and the four play rarely lasts as long as I need it to (sometimes we get nearly an hour into all the before stuff). When I do become sexually aroused, it isn't until I stand up that the physical signs begin showing (I suspect gravity has something to do with that) so lube is a staple for us. It embarrasses me, so I usually end up just faking it and praying that it doesn't last long. It bothers me that I can't enjoy being intimate with the person that I love. What could be the reasoning behind this, and is there any way that I can fix it?

it's a process of elimination; you can start by seeing an endocrinologist to evaluate hormones; then, ask yourself if things have changed in your life--are you taking any medications, is there more stress?.finally, consider the relationship, in and outside of the bedroom; embarrassment of any kind doesn't help intimacy; also, some lack of total honesty seems in play--not good; time to have an open, honest dialog with him as to the situation; hopefully this will lead to a better mindset, and you can begin to communicate to him what you feel you need to have for a more satisfying lovemaking experience to return..

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work...technical editor, "dating for dummies";thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


top expert at expert background in psychology, social work, life experience...

B.A. Bates College (psychology)...graduate study Fordham University School of Social Work

©2016 All rights reserved.