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How to Deal with Sex Problems/I don't reach orgasm through the intercourse

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Question
Hi,
I am 26 year old guy. Recently met a 29 years old girl. We are currently in an active sexual relationship. My problem is when we do the intercourse I can't reach the orgasm so I need to masturbate by myself to cum. It's so weird for me because when I masturbate alone I cum within 4-5 minutes but I with intercourse it is too much difficult. Although I satisfy her several times in one act.
We aren't in a serious relationship but she likes me a lot. She thinks I'm the hottest guy she ever met with. I also like her as a person but I'm still not that much sexually attracted towards her because I genuinely think that she is not hot enough for me, she is overweight and that makes me fantasize about other slim and hot girls when we are having sex. According to me that may be the reason for my problem mentioned above. Please tell am I thinking right?

Answer
Hi John,

The first question I have is; With other women do you have this problem or only with her?  When you have sex with some one you are attracted to, how is that sexual experience?

If sex with others is working just fine, then I think you may be right, it is an attraction thing.  Because you are not in love with this woman you perceived flaws in her could dampen the sexual experience.   

If the orgasm issue is not localized to her but more general to all woman,  then it could be either technique related or more likely to an emotional issue.  In that case you should see a therapist to see what is going on.

Good luck,

Tom Blair
Relationship Coach

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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