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How to Deal with Sex Problems/My fiancÚ doesn't want to have sex


My fiancÚ and I have been together for over 5 years. We started out very sexual as friends with benefits that became more. We lost our virginities to each other and have to this day only had sex with each other. We have bad excellent sex several times a night. For 3 years we were long distance and had marathon sex sessions when we would see each other. After we were in the same city, it didn't happen like that. My libido has not changed but his has. He rarely if ever initiates sex and even when I initiate it he sometimes can't perform. I know it's not a medical problem because sometimes (when we first moved in together, when we got engaged) we have spectacular sex. I've tried abstaining, throwing myself at him, seductive lingerie. He just seems more emotional than physical. I know he loves me, but I want the passion back. What can I do? Whenever we talk about it he says he's just not as sexual as I am and he doesn't know what I could do differently.

How old is he? How long has it been since you been having sex with him? It is possible that he is going through hormonal issues- if you are sure that there is a big change, I suggest him getting a physical check to make sure there's no more serious issue.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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