How to Deal with Sex Problems/Pain during sex

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Question
Hi,

I'm 22 and I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months now.
We've been fairly sexually active since the beginning, however we've always had issues because penetration hurts me so much.
I wasnt a virgin when we got together. When we try to have sex I always end up asking him to hurry it up because I'm feeling so sore, it's like sandpaper inside my vagina and burns for hours afterwards. Taking a bath straight after doesnt seem to ease the pain. We've tried using lubricant but it doesnt seem to make much difference. The only time it doesnt hurt is if I've been drinking alcohol, which obviously numbs the pain. It also hurts if he puts his fingers in me, and I've tried using toys and they hurt too.
He's very understanding and tells me it's not important and he prefers foreplay anyway, but I'm getting quite hung up on the idea that I'm disappointing him by getting him all worked up then not letting him "get off"!

Do you think I should see a doctor or could I be making the problem worse by getting stressed about it?

Answer
Hi Kay,

Yes.   Yes you should see a doctor,  intercourse should not be painful.  And since inserting nearly anything into the vagina seems to be painful,  I would recommend seeing a doctor.   Stress could aggravate the issue but it is not likely the cause.   

Good luck,

Tom Blair
Relationship Coach

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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