How to Deal with Sex Problems/Sadism

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Question
I'm a female, 21.  I have a BA in psychology and philosophy.  I'm either getting my MA in psychology or I'm going overseas to find work.  Anyway, on topic:

It seems the only way I can get off these days, (whether through masturbation or sexual intercourse) is by fantasizing an extreme form of sadism... where the woman ends up disembowled and dead.  And it's just so tempting because I know the perfect rouse and the perfect disposal site.  It feels like it's just so close, like it's teasing me, calling me, and all I need is a little push.  But that would totally ruin my whole life, man (assuming I got caught eventually).  Do you know how boring jail time would be?  So there's gotta be a way to stop wanting this.  

I mean, I realize there's no real treatment plan for pedophiles or people into beastiality or necrophilias or the like.  And I'd rather not go to a mental hospital because that's mostly for people with a flair for the drama or idiots, really.  Besides, it's already difficult to find a job (although, I do have one), nevermind having it on your record that you went to a hospital.

I don't know what to do about this.  I've avoided my "comfort zone" as much as possible because each time I'm there I practice my rouse (and it works).  So all I'd have to do is bash their head in.  But I know well enough to leave my knife at home when I do my routine.  But I wonder if it's just a matter of time before I accidentally-on-purpose bring my knife.  Or maybe I'm being dramatic myself, and there's no need to think much on it.

Answer
I suggest you externalize the fantasy- maybe start a book, or go through the motion of starting one, and go with your fantasy- and while you do so, talk to people, and share your theories/thoughts from the angle of an author/researcher.
You may find that this opens unexpected doors.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Johnny St. Tai

Expertise

We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.

Experience

Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Organizations
Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Education/Credentials
Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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