How to Deal with Sex Problems/How to get and stay wet


QUESTION: I am 18 years old and married.  I love my husband very much.  When we first got married, I was wet.  Like really wet anad always horny.  Now I am always wanting to have sex with him, but for some reason cannot seem to get wet. What can I do to show him it's not him, it's me, and how to fix it?   He thinks I do not want him, and that is not true in any way, shape, or form.  Its taking a toll on our sex life and our marriage.  What can I do to get wet and stay wet? I read somewhere that when I'm on my period, the fact that I use tampons could be a cause for my lack of wetness, or even the fact that I have stopped drinking a lot of water.  Could those be the reasons why I am not as wet as I used to be?

ANSWER: The fact is that getting wet is like being ticklish...some people just aren't ticklish, some people are ticklish only some of the times...and some are very has nothing really to do with desire. Drink alot of fluid will help some though, and people who smoke/drink alcohol alot can find that they're not getting wet as much too.
Tampons have nothing to do with it however.
One thing you can do is buy those colorless, flavorless lubes and apply them before you have sex- tell him you need to use the washroom before hand or something...if done properly, he won't know the difference.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So the fact that I smoke could be affecting me as well? I didn't realize that.  Thank you very much for the advice. Its good to know that I'm not the only one that's like this.

Even for women who can lube up well, it's always good to keep lubes around just in case the session lasts longer than your body can keep up with.
And yes, medications, smoking, drinking, all play apart in changing the way your body respond to stimulations.
For even birth control pills do too.

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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