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How to Deal with Sex Problems/Fear of vaginal penetration, small opening

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Question
I am a 20 years old virgin. Since I can remember I have always been afraid of vaginal penetration. I could never use tampons or finger myself. The weird thing is I have no reason to be afraid. No one has ever tried to abuse me, I have never tried penetration by anything. Is this normal? I would like to have sex, but I feel like I should sort this out first. Who could help me? I have never been to a gynecologist, I am too afraid.
Plus I am fearing that there is something abnormal about me physically as well. I am not sure, but it seems like my vagina is way too tiny to fit anything in! I can see the hole, but it is so tiny I am afraid of hurting myself if I try to put anything in (if I could, but there is my psychological problem as well). Will I be able to put a penis in? I cannot imagine, much less how a baby could fit through! If I try to stretch it a bit using my fingers, it feels very tight and afterwards it feels dry and it tickles a bit. I have these issues but at the same time I am to embarrassed to see anyone about them. Please, any advice? Thank you in advance.
Joanne

Answer
You are not abnormal.  You're just inexperienced.  Find a willing partner who will be calm and gentle with you.  You will enjoy sex with him.  In the meantime, it would be a good idea if you could learn to masturbate vaginally with your hands.  It will help warm you up to the thought of a man penetrating you.  It would also be a good idea to see a gynecologist.  She could help you understand that there's nothing wrong with you.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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