You are here:

How to Deal with Sex Problems/Fear of vaginal penetration, small opening


I am a 20 years old virgin. Since I can remember I have always been afraid of vaginal penetration. I could never use tampons or finger myself. The weird thing is I have no reason to be afraid. No one has ever tried to abuse me, I have never tried penetration by anything. Is this normal? I would like to have sex, but I feel like I should sort this out first. Who could help me? I have never been to a gynecologist, I am too afraid.
Plus I am fearing that there is something abnormal about me physically as well. I am not sure, but it seems like my vagina is way too tiny to fit anything in! I can see the hole, but it is so tiny I am afraid of hurting myself if I try to put anything in (if I could, but there is my psychological problem as well). Will I be able to put a penis in? I cannot imagine, much less how a baby could fit through! If I try to stretch it a bit using my fingers, it feels very tight and afterwards it feels dry and it tickles a bit. I have these issues but at the same time I am to embarrassed to see anyone about them. Please, any advice? Thank you in advance.

You are not abnormal.  You're just inexperienced.  Find a willing partner who will be calm and gentle with you.  You will enjoy sex with him.  In the meantime, it would be a good idea if you could learn to masturbate vaginally with your hands.  It will help warm you up to the thought of a man penetrating you.  It would also be a good idea to see a gynecologist.  She could help you understand that there's nothing wrong with you.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I can answer questions in any area of sexuality.


I have been an AllExperts expert in seven other sex categories for over four years and have answered thousands of questions. I have also run a web site,, for over 13 years and have answered countless thousands of questions on that site. specializes in help for men with sexual dysfunctions.

I have a Ph.D. from one of the leading research institutions in the world in a field unrelated to sexuality.

Past/Present Clients
I have helped thousands of people over the Internet directly, and millions have read my writings on the web.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]