How to Deal with Sex Problems/help


I have not masturbated very much the last weeks and now I start to feel many things for some people I meet. I feel much emotions for this girl that is very nice to me but I also feel emotions for other dear friends. I have problems with dealing with emotions. I am confused. I weep a lot. What can you tell me? What help should I seek?

ANSWER: Dear Jan,

I would like to know what kind of feelings do you have. Are these sexual urges or purely affectionate ones?  Did you start feeling them after you have stopped masturbating?  Do you have the same feelings for  these dear friends of yours?  If they are sexual feelings it is fairly common for a man to have them particularly if they are really attractive.  If you are trying to relate these feelings with your masturbatory activities which you said  you discontinued for the last few weeks, there might be some connections assuming that you used to masturbate a lot in the past and depending on how frequent you do it.  

Usually, after ejaculation, the sexual desires of males go down due to the release of chemicals known as prolactin. So females that you find sexually attractive before may appear less attractive right after you ejaculate.

But my bigger concern is your weeping.  Can you find any reason why you weep?  I can not give more of my opinion since I do not have all the information that I need.  If your life is being affected by it, it is best that you see a psychologist for help.

Good luck...


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QUESTION: I think it is friendly affection that I am talking about. Another interesting thing is that this girl is a woman and my mother is a woman. I don't really understand that but it is a fact!


Are you saying that the woman that your are having the said affection for is your mom?  If my understanding is correct, I do not see anything wrong with that.  Mothers should receive great affection from their children no matter how old or young they are.  I myself love my mother dearly.  I don't want to see her get hurt emotionally of physically. I care about her.  It's the least I could do for her.

What will really be bothering is if you start feeling sexual desires for her.  I hope that will never happen.  But if it is just friendly affection as you have said, you are perfectly normal.  You may just be misinterpreting your feelings and read it in the wrong way.


How to Deal with Sex Problems

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I have the ability to give mature and appropriate responses to questions regarding adolescent and early adulthood sexuality. Inquiries regarding gay and lesbian activities will be answered without moralizing on my part and will be purely gender sensitive.


I am a clinical psychologist with an MA in Counseling as well as a college educator who specialize in sexuality, and had been doing lectures, seminars and actual classroom teaching regarding the topic for more than 15 years. I also have a weekly radio program that listens to sexual, emotional, social and personal problems of adolescents and young adults that they themselves cannot discuss openly with peers or members of the family

BS-Psychology MA-Counseling

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