You are here:

How to Deal with Sex Problems/I don't like sex with my husband anymore

Advertisement


Question
I am post-menopausal and I have lost my sex drive.  My husband is a few years younger than me. We are in a pattern of having sex once a week - mostly me giving my husband a hand-job.  I don't enjoy sex any more and when I turn him down, he gets very upset.  I love him dearly, but just not attracted to him physically any more.  We have been married for 10 years.  It is hard for me to get physically aroused and lubricated. We usually use a lubricant if we have intercourse. I don't feel the need to orgasm most times, and having an orgasm once a month is fine for me.  I would be perfectly happy with no sex, but I know that is not gonna happen. He needs it more than I do. What do you suggest - I would like to have a normal sex drive - do you think hormones might be in order?  My husband takes Viagra to maintain an erection, but if I am not lubricated, intercourse is a little uncomfortable.  Any suggestions?

Answer
you couild start an open, honest dialog with him as to your feelings, and maybe suggest some different stuff, i.e. oral/genital, movies, toys, wherever your imagination will take you; he needs to be more attentive to what might stimulate you aside from intercourse; after that you could consider  a visit to the endocrinologist...after that, you're looking at the couples sex therapist..finally, it's quiet desperation or a new man,  since attraction usually isn't "negotiable.." it may sound harsh, but that's the reality of the situation;  

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Azure

Expertise

expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work...technical editor, "dating for dummies";thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available uponrequest...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

Experience

top expert at expert central.com...extensive background in psychology, social work, life experience...

Education/Credentials
B.A. Bates College (psychology)...graduate study Fordham University School of Social Work

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.