How to Deal with Sex Problems/Kissing


Hello! I'm Rachel. question isn't exactly about sex, but in a way, it is. I'm engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years. I am 24, he is 42. Anyway, I've come to realize that I really don't like kissing. When I first started dating guys back in high school, I didn't really enjoy kissing. I thought once I met the right guy, that would change. But it hasn't. My fiance is what you would call a "good kisser," I just don't really like it. I don't dislike it. I will always kiss back if he kisses me. But I almost never initiate it. The times that I do, it's only because I feel like he's expecting it. I don't understand why I don't like it. It seems like everyone else loves kissing, especially someone they really love. I love my fiance very much. And I love doing lots of other things with him. I love hugging him, cuddling with him, and I love having any kind of sex with him in any position. I'm very emotional and it seems weird to me that I don't like kissing, because I love closeness and affection. I even cry sometimes when I orgasm because I love the intimacy and emotional connection so much. I don't know what to do. He likes to kiss a lot, especially during sex. I feel like it hurts his feelings that he almost always has to kiss me first. It makes me feel bad. I want him to know that it's me, not him, but I don't want him to stop kissing just because of me. I know he would miss it. I feel so terrible about it. I wish I could like it. Like I said, I don't dislike it, it just doesn't do anything for me. And it's not that he's a bad kisser or he tastes weird or anything like that. What should I do?

If you don't dislike it, then there's really no problem at all.
Not liking it is not uncommon, billions of women throughout history did not find kissing/touching/sex to their likings, but they kept in mind that they had to do it to please their lovers.
Don't tell him you don't like it, if anything, try to always remind your self to do it- just simply because it is the one thing you need to keep working at to keep the love going smoothly.
I'm sure if you love him, you love it when something you do pleases him- and that thing you do doesn't exactly has to be about your self, or to your massage.
Think of kissing as a selfless act, and who knows, one day you might even find your self liking it.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

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Over 500.

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