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How to Deal with Sex Problems/Vagina closes involuntarily during sex

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Question
First of all I'm sorry for my illiterate language I use to describe my situation I can't find other ways to rephrase this
I'm 24 years old and never inserted any foreign objects(not even fingers) into my vagina
I'm not sexually abused but im just scared its going to hurt.
I have two children but my sex life is really painful I never enjoy having sex
It hurts and sometimes my vagina shuts down and makes it really hard for my husband to penetrate me
I recently had a baby (1 month ago) and I want to be able to enjoy sex the way it should be
Even if I'm sexually aroused sex hurts me
What can I buy to help relax my muscles? I lost my virginity at 19 and the guy who took my virginity had a 13 inch and didn't go slow knowing I was a virgin... After that I've been scared to have sex  since then have had only 2 sexual partners before my husband.... I have no experience in sex... and my husband has sex with me once every 3-5 months ....maybe cus it hurts him too....

I want to know what I can do overcome this condition of fear and painful intercourse?
What can I do to stop the involuntary closing of my vagina?

Answer
Hi Lala,


Your condition is known as Vaginismus.  That is the involuntary tightenning of the opening to the Vagina.  It can be a medial issue, however, from what you are saying it most likely is a tightening issue.  Psychological causes of vaginismus include bad sexual experiences, childbirth, illness and indoctrinated beliefs that sex is 'dirty' or a 'bad thing'# Once the body has learned to respond to sex in this way, a little re-education of the unconscious mind is required#

You could go to a therapist#  I think the easiest and least expensive option is to try self hypnosis#  Hypnosis can help you reprogram your mind and let you enjoy sex#  I like this program        Cure Vaginismus - relax with hypnosis  Check it out.  It cost about $20.00

Good luck,  

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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