How to Deal with Sex Problems/Sex with my fiancee


Hello Johnny, I want to ask a question about my sex life with my fiancee. I am 16 year old female, my fiancee and I have been in a long distance relationship for a year and I decided to go visit him. We had amazing sex, but what really bugs me is that he never wants to let me be in control. I like to grind on his cock to make him cum, but his cock goes soft when I grind on his cock. Other times I find it hard to make him hard like I can only make him hard when I stimulate him. To me it is a confidence stealer and it is very troublesome. Sometimes when he is inside of me (a lot of times when I am in control) he will go soft. He also never likes trying new positions and only knows how to make me cum one way. Whenever we are on the phone he seems to get hard all the time, but when it comes to me being in front of him, I have to stimulate him. I feel like later on this could be a big issue, but tell me what you think? To add onto that I also sometimes don't feel turned on (not wet enough), because I feel like he doesn't really take the time. He usually just sticks it in and never does foreplay or anything to try to please me or get me in the mood. I don't want to marry him if this will be a big problem. Help

He is probably too used to masturbation- which means, used to his own control, own pace, own pleasure.
This makes it hard to stay firm during real sex in the beginning especially when he is not in control of the situation.
Talk to him, explain to him that pleasure goes both ways.
Next time you guys meet, spend sometime on role reversal- sort a little game where the goal is him pleasuring you with foreplay and different ways, and totally forget about his pleasure for that session- if he can agree to work on that, he can become a great lover.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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