How to Deal with Sex Problems/sexual performance anxiety

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Question
I'm 34 year old male who's been married for one year.  For the past six months i have been dealing with sexual performance anxiety that is only getting worse.  I have been seen by a neurologist to who has ruled out physical problems with erections.  When I'm with my wife i am able to get and erection but all during foreplay anxiety kicks in an im so concerned about losing it that before penetration its gone.  This had led to me avoiding sex.  I get the anxiety now anytime that my wife and i are alone and their is a possibility of sex.  I tried viagara but my anxiety was so high that i lost the erection before penetration also.  My GP has talked of putting me on lexapro 10mg but i am scared of the side effects of losing libido and the inability to ejaculate.  Where do i go from here.  I know its in my mind but how do i rewire my brain?

Answer
Hi Kevin,


Sexual anxiety or performance anxiety can be a very serious problem.  And the more you worry about it the worse it becomes.  Typically medications are not the way to go.  The two most effective methods are 1 - therapy (a prolonged series of sessions to explore and resolve the issues that create the problem) or hypnosis.  Hypnosis usually is much less expensive and can produce positive results much quicker.  You can look for a local hypnotherapist that deals in relationship or sexual issues or you can go the self hypnosis (guided) programs.  The latter is much more cost effective.  On my web site you will see a link to Hypnosis Downloads.  They produce several programs for relationships and sexual issues.  They are safe and effective.  Take a look.  My web site is http://changescoaching.com/sex

Good luck

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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